Ahhhh F**k it!

Hello all

I am just having a bit of a moan, not entirely sure where I am supposed to post this lol...I was diagnosed with AA on 10th March after noticing my first patch 3 wks before, so I haven't had this lark for long. When I was first told I went through a phase of being sure all my hair was going to go and thinking the worst etc, then I picked myself up and thought hey hey you only have 2 patches, you'll be ok. Well since then I now have 4 bald patches, and 4 areas of broken hairs...I was fine with this until the one at the front hairline to the left started growing! I now have broken hairs along the front as far as the middle my head and I am thinking how the hell am I going to cover that up! Plus I have 2 spots appearing on the top of my head! Argh! I just don't actually know what to do with myself....I don't want to lose all my hair! And I know this does not mean I will, but FFS I am gonna have random fricking patches missing...VISIBLE patches! What to do what to do! xxx HELP!

Tracey

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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on April 15, 2011 at 8:15pm
Yep. When it goes to the front, it's "game over." If you want a hairline or cover line, it will be scarf, wig, turban, do-rag, beanie, or hat to provide it. I had to do the denial/anger/depression bit at age 18. Now, 40 years later, and after hair/no hair over the years, I now cover up the white wisps left by AT and AU with wigs. With that much loss, too many shots would be needed even to TRY a treatment, but my dermatologist said more than 6 shots a visit isn't safe, and after SOOOOOO much loss, may not be effective. So...buy a book on grief stages, write in your journal, cry it out etc., but in the meantime come up with a solution that helps you smile. We here cannot help your hair grow, but can only help your attitude about it all. Try the "Funny Acts of Alopecia" group under Groups on this site...that may help.
Permalink Reply by R0BB on April 16, 2011 at 8:34am
I Second That ..... F**k it !!

( .... hold on ...Im waiting to see if i feel better ...... )

Permalink Reply by Tracey Holt on April 16, 2011 at 12:48pm
Haha am loving the piccy there Robb lol, made me chuckle. And thanks Tallgirl for your input, I quite like the look of do-rags, I had never even heard of them before! They look nice...I have ordered a cheapy wig from somewhere recommended by another alopecia sufferer, so I will see how that goes. I don't really want to shave my hair off just yet...I still have alot of it, it's just my spots are in really daft places! I will have a look on the group you said about too....sounds intriguing lol. I am much happier about it today, think I just had an off day.xxxx THANK YOU!xx
Permalink Reply by Stacey on April 19, 2011 at 1:19am
Tracey,

There will be good days and bad days.

Have a selection of hats, scarves, bandanas and maybe even a cheapy wig or two to match your mood.

I moved from hats, bobby pins, hairspray and clips to disguise the patches, to a wig to wear when I wanted to, to wearing the wig like a safety blanket, to wearing bandanas on hot days/wigs on cold days; now I am smooth and shiny at home, bandanas most other times and I have a very pricey but cool wig for work or when I am going out.

Just because the alopecia is progressing along, it doesn't mean it will all go, or it will be gone forever. It is unpredictable and at times pretty devastating.

You need to detatch yourself from your hair - you are not your hair, it is just a part of your current/previous appearance. The real you is hiding beneath your hair, and in my experience, you will get to know the real you only after you experience this life-changing condition.

(Ahh what I would do to have random friggen patches again! I would wear it proudly and embrace it, even if they were visible! Just enjoy what hair you have!)

xx Stacey
Permalink Reply by Tracey Holt on April 19, 2011 at 1:46pm
Aw thanks for your msg Stacey....I have a couple of scarves which I have just modelled for my friend who says they look lovely and some thicker hairbands for the mo, so I am feeling alot better....You are right, my hair shouldnt define me, and to be fair I hardly ever do my hair anyway lol, I think it's also the fact that I have no say in this lol, thats what is getting to me too, that and also I don't want to feel unattractive...although all the ladies on here are beautiful and I can see that hair doesn't actually change your face that much unless you have BIIIG hair, which I don't anyway....it's just hard to get my head around it....me myself don't really mind I suppose, but I do worry what other people with think of me...xxx
Permalink Reply by Karen Smith on April 21, 2011 at 8:59pm
I am sooo sorry this is happening to you. It is devastating when it first happens. Let yourself cry and rant but figure out a way to move on. My daughter was in highschool and a cheerleader when her hair all disappeared in 2 weeks. We quickly bought a lace wig and she learned to tape them on and went on with life. The first ones were not great but we have since found good products. We are here to answer questions and listen.
Permalink Reply by Tracey Holt on April 22, 2011 at 7:13am
Thanks very much for the msg Karen....its great to know I have a place to turn to when I feel dire lol....xxxxx Thanks all of you x
Permalink Reply by CATHERINE on April 22, 2011 at 7:33pm
I bought some really funky hats and wore them and scarves alot...if you have long hair, maybe a trim is needed. Are you receiving any type of treatment??
Things do get better!!
Permalink Reply by Barb Lange on April 25, 2011 at 8:21pm
Hi I know how it is...I have learned that using liquid eyeliner has helped "cover" my spots along with parting it just right.
But having no eyebrows is hard too..ya somehow get used to it. And if someone is going to say something about it i just say...Do you make fun of ppl with cancer too? or F*@k it!
Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on April 26, 2011 at 12:04am
All I have is white, wispy hair along the edges of my head; the rest is bald, bald, bald...eternally now. I am thinking of wearing an Egyptian pharoah's crown in my casket and for archaeologists to dig up and scratch THEIR heads. It took quite a few years to succumb to this after being a brunette during my haired years. Hang in there, and find the ironic and cynical humor in life: it will help you survive and be able to laugh with others.
Permalink Reply by Tracey Holt on April 26, 2011 at 7:19am
Aw you guys, thansk so much for your responses! I am feeling a lot better now, I have changed my fringe parting now to cover the major receeding temple, its a funny circle shape but starting on the edge....fun fun. And as weird as this sounds, I am quite looking forward to buying wigs lol. I can have great hair all the time! I have not had any negative comments made when I have told people about my alopecia...which is nice. I have also gone out and got some scarves and sunglasses, and jewellry lol...shopping is good for the soul haha. xxxx and I have started my journal last night....I think that is going to be a big help....thank you all again....you've helped me more than you know. xxx
Permalink Reply by Tracey Holt on April 26, 2011 at 7:20am
And Tallgirl....I am loving your attitude! It's fab! xx

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