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Be Bold and Be Bald. Why give away your power?
Hi All,
Though I suspect this topic may draw some negative comments, I've read too many posts on this site where people are worried about showing their hair loss or baldness, and felt this post was necessary
Men: the hat cover up, the comb over, the paste down, the hair transplant - you're not fooling anyone but yourselves; people see that you're loosing your hair. Why not accept it, and be proud of it. Michael Jordan did, and look what happened - having a shaved head all of sudden became not only acceptable, but cool.
Women: the wig, short hair, extensions - why not become a Michella Jordan, and be the example for women with thinning or spotty hair loss? When women start seeing that it's OK to be bald and be proud of it, those suffering with the stigma of any type of hair loss will positively embrace it just as the men have done. Yes there may be stares, jeers and even some jokes; that's societies reaction to anything new or different. However, those that prevail will in time be looked upon as the pioneers of the next trend in woman's appearance.
For both sexes - conceal/cover-up and you've given away your power to society. Be Bald and Be Proud and you demonstrate a power and confidence very few people on this planet possess.
I mean no disrespect to anyone, nor do I claim to have the slightest inkling of the emotional pain some of you may be going through. I can however relate to you that I started loosing my hair at 17, did the Hair Club for Men (what a rip off), then finally 'Gave in to the Bald Side'. Trust me when I tell you, it is the most freeing and empowering thing I've ever done.
Looking forward to everyone's feedback.
Evan
Though I suspect this topic may draw some negative comments, I've read too many posts on this site where people are worried about showing their hair loss or baldness, and felt this post was necessary
Men: the hat cover up, the comb over, the paste down, the hair transplant - you're not fooling anyone but yourselves; people see that you're loosing your hair. Why not accept it, and be proud of it. Michael Jordan did, and look what happened - having a shaved head all of sudden became not only acceptable, but cool.
Women: the wig, short hair, extensions - why not become a Michella Jordan, and be the example for women with thinning or spotty hair loss? When women start seeing that it's OK to be bald and be proud of it, those suffering with the stigma of any type of hair loss will positively embrace it just as the men have done. Yes there may be stares, jeers and even some jokes; that's societies reaction to anything new or different. However, those that prevail will in time be looked upon as the pioneers of the next trend in woman's appearance.
For both sexes - conceal/cover-up and you've given away your power to society. Be Bald and Be Proud and you demonstrate a power and confidence very few people on this planet possess.
I mean no disrespect to anyone, nor do I claim to have the slightest inkling of the emotional pain some of you may be going through. I can however relate to you that I started loosing my hair at 17, did the Hair Club for Men (what a rip off), then finally 'Gave in to the Bald Side'. Trust me when I tell you, it is the most freeing and empowering thing I've ever done.
Looking forward to everyone's feedback.
Evan
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Dominique Cleopatra on
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I was going to comment but Neil put everything I wanted to say so eloquently I'm left speechless!
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Permalink Reply by Connie - Chris' Mom on
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I hope someday my son feels he can Be Bold even if he's bald. But for now, my 15 year old who lost all of his hair in less than 3 months, just before starting high school, feels hiding under a fedora is more comfortable. He chose the fedora so he didn't just look like all the "jocks" wearing ball caps to school. He also found that people, even strangers, would comment on his "cool hat" rather than is lack of hair. With no eyebrows or eyelashes he knew he wasn't fooling anyone, he would just rather get comments on his hat than his head. If anyone asked why he was wearing a hat he'd just reply "to cover my head", and leave it at that. But even with the hat wearing I have seen him get more comfortable with his baldness. In the beginning he wore it even at home, inside the house. Then it was only when someone came over. Now he'll even go in the backyard without a hat on, but cross the threshold of the front door and there MUST be a hat on his head. He is currently experiencing some splotchy re-growth (which looks worse than being bald) and states rather emphatically that even if his hair grows back completely, the hat stays. He rather likes being known as the kid with the fedora. So for now I think the fedora is giving him power not taking it away.
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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Identity, recognition in a sea of people, color to make a statement, ability to go on learning (or teaching!) without student taunts...there are many reasons to CHOOSE hair, scarf or hat. I applaud your son's finding a style that will be memorable and happy for him for those school years. Fedoras are cool. I used to wear a floppy, brown felt, wide-brimmed hat in the college years to "get noticed" and to cover my shyness in personality.
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Permalink Reply by Susan P aka DGADBS on
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Hey Evan my man, what a great blog! I'm with ya on this one.
I too refuse to cover up so I can be accepted, who wants to wear a wig in this heat just so we can blend. I don't know how many people have told me to put on my hat, I'll put on my hat when I want to put on my hat, until then deal with it. Women have a long way to go to be accepted but it's friends like Mary who will get us there.
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I wear hair for me not for "society" or to "blend in" trust me if you saw me I don't look like anyone else and I don't need to be bald to have that affect on people or, to stand out in a crowd.
I would never tell someone who goes out bald (especially those trailblazing women) that they should cover up because, they are being stubborn and rebellious, making people uncomfortable and looking for sympathy or attention (I'm playing the Devil's Advocacte here in case that went over anyone's bald head) And I don't need anyone telling me that I am basically a scared, ashamed bahing sheep because I choose to wear one more fashion accessory that amounts to little more than a padded bra or the like. I don't like the tacit notion that an alopecian wearing a head-cover is akin to one denying their race or true nature.
I support those who go out bald sometimes, all the time, and those who would never even dream of it or want to aspire to that "level of comfort." Hell, I even support those with full heads of hair that most of us would die for shaving it all off (men and women) because they feel like. I appreciate diversity in the alopecian community just as much as I do in the world at large. I believe the post was well-meaning but feel the last thing any of us need is to be shamed or told how we SHOULD deal with this life-changing—and often completely traumatic—event.
I always think of the serentity prayer when it comes to wigs, and lots of other things too: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I CAN and the WISDOM to know the difference."
Evan, I suspect you knew this would be a hot topic and while I wholeheartedly—and respectfully—disagree; I am glad you opened up this topic for discussion. I am sure a lot of good will come of it.
I was inspired to write a little poem called "I am not a Traitor"
" I am not a traitor to my kind because my bald head I bind in hair, though others may be unaware my head is bare, I am an alopecian in my heart. Although I may thwart the stares and questions my hairless sisters and brothers face I am no less welcome in this place."
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Permalink Reply by Neil Pendleton on
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Awesome!
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Permalink Reply by Mary on
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Great! I feel the same way. What I hope for is simply that we all (women too) will have a real choice someday and feel free to choose wig, scarf, hat or bald.
I don't feel that an alopecian who wears a wig is any less "one of us". We're all sharing this journey, and we each should do what makes us feel best.
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Permalink Reply by Evan on
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Hi Dominique - a re-read of my post unfortunately does seem a bit "thou should", which was not my intention. What I was attempting to get across, was to encourage people to not allow societal pressure to dictate their display of baldness.
Your points are well taken, and as I suspected, this topic has generated a considerable response. I would hope that those who might be on the should/shouldn't I go bald fence, give it a try this coming Saturday where they will be in a supportive atmosphere. The Massachusetts group is making a day of it at a lake where the water has been quite warm. What better way to say adios (at least for a day) to the "haired swimming cap".
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This may be another discussion topic, but I'll raise it here: one reason I had trouble wearing a wig - personally - is the problem of what to do when I got hot. What I mean is that if I'm wearing a scarf or hat, and get warm, I can take it off and it doesn't seem to me that it looks too surprising. These days, I put on and take off my scarf if I need to.
In contrast, I always felt really strange taking my wig off in a public place once I'd been sitting there with it on. I felt too uncomfortable going from "with full head of hair" to "no hair", whereas "with scarf or hat" to "no hair" didn't seem as hard. When I take my scarf off, I just fold it and put it in my purse or pocket. With a wig, I never knew what to do with it, and felt like I was sitting there with an animal in my lap. ( ;-)
Has anyone else felt this way?
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