Alopecia World
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Finding love or just how to go about meeting people when you have alopecia
I have come out of a long relationship and now realize I have no clue how to get back into the dating world! I have so many questions.
1. When do you tell someone your wearing a wig?
2. Is it an issue to men?
3. Are there dating sites for people with alopecia?
4. What if they freak out and would rather you didn't take the wig off!
I'm sure there are more questions but these are the main ones. I'm totally overwhelmed by this idea of getting back out there without some idea how to approach the subject. "Hi, I'm Emmily, I'm bald" just dosn't seem to be the right way to go about it haha.
Thanks and hope people can help.
emmily
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Debs on
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Check out the post on this site by Debbie Fuller. Debbie Fuller's third date rule. It is great she breaks dating down for us. I too am single and dating. Men tJe their cue by how relaxed you are with it. Good luck and enjoy your dating.
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Permalink Reply by babyblueeyes123 on
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where is the post?
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Permalink Reply by Cheryl, Co-founder on
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You can find Debbi's Third Dating Rule post by clicking the link below:
http://www.alopeciaworld.com/forum/topics/the-third-date-rule-by-de...
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You can find Debbi's Third Dating Rule post by clicking the link below:
http://www.alopeciaworld.com/forum/topics/the-third-date-rule-by-de...
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Permalink Reply by Solange De Santis on
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I'm just getting back into dating, too and I haven't worn a wig in more than ten years. I've joined a dating website. As an editor and writer, my photo is all over the Internet without hair, so it would be silly, I think, to post one with hair. I did get a professional color photo taken and gently retouched, just to look really nice. I noted in my profile that my "interesting non-hairstyle" is due to an autoimmune condition, does not affect my overall health and that I'm a very feminine woman who believes I am beautiful just the way I am. Anyway, wish me luck! We'll see if it works.
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Permalink Reply by Marieca on
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Hi Emmily!
I wouldn't say there's any specific time to tell someone about your alopecia. Or that you're wearing a wig. I day whenever you feel comfortable. If you don't make a big deal out of it, they usually don't either and if they like you that won't matter.
I feel it may be an issue to some but look at it as any other preferences. Some guys don't like plus size girls, or skinny girls, or girls with short hair. It's the same thing. And if they don't prefer it then you'll know that's not the guy for you.
I'm not aware of any specific dating sites for alopecians.
I have been dating my current bf for almost 6 months now and we were friends a year b4 that. I told him about it early on when we were just friends and he didn't make a big deal about it at all. I havrnt gotten to the point of taking my wig off around him yet so I can't speak on that.
Dating with alopecia is not at all difficult it just may help you weed out the superficial ones early on!
Good Luck!
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This is a Smooth & Single Group on Alopecia World:
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Permalink Reply by paula on
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emmily it depends. if you know right off that bat that you may want to be intimate with him, just put the fact on the table. i recently had to face this (after 28 years of having au) but it was so refreshing to put it out there and see how he felt. he was fine......he said.....i care for you with or without hair.......it made it so easy for me. now.....do i whip off my wig? no! i still am not at that level but that is my choice,,,,,,and he never asks. i know some gals can do that but for me it is a matter of dignity on my part. he's at the point where he feels comfortable "running his hand through my hair" knowing he may encounter edges or seams.........but he is gentle and i find myself relaxing in the moment. and yes.......there are sites for people with alopecia;;;;;;but don't limit yourself. there are many men in this world who love no matter what, xxxx
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Best of luck to you, Emmily. It's definitely your choice whether you want to wear a wig or not. If you do, then you and the guy could get to know each other a bit before talking about health issues. Since I don't wear one, I feel I need to get it out there right away that I don't have cancer (which is the default for most people), then move on to other topics and not make a big deal out of it. Regards.
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Permalink Reply by linda carraway on
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I find at 56 all ages of me think it's sexy! I have so much fun if I have a hat on and a bald guys around I ll go over take my hat off run my hand over my head and say hey we have the same hair cut!!! They always laugh and say something to make me feel great . Men want real women ! Be you the outside is what it is no changing so live every minute to be happy. Believe me I m married 36 yrs !
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Hi Emmily
I came out of a 9 year relationship shortly after being diagnosed with AU. In my experience over the last year, I haven't felt the need to hide my condition... I wear wigs, but have never kept that a secret. I draw on my eyebrows and quite clearly don't have eyelashes, so that, I believe is a give-away to men. I haven't openly dated and would be hugely scared to put my picture on a dating website, but I'm not into online dating anyway. I think you have to approach it in whatever makes you feel comfortable. The guy I'm seeing at the moment knows I wear a wig, but he's never seen me without it on or without a hat... (I wear a lot of beanies)...so... I'm also an Emily, and have never felt the need to say, 'Hi I'm Emily and I'm bald'...
x
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