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Hair loss equals child abuse
At least that is what my family told the child abuse hotline.
Two years ago my daughter was diagnosed with AA. Since that time at its worst she has experienced 80% hair loss and at its best a few spots here and there.
Today I received notification that a child abuse claim had been made against me and that the state wants verification from my daughter's doctor that this is an actual disease and is not me or my child pulling out the hair along with proof that the desease is difficult if not impossible to treat.
I am angry beyond words... stressed and scared. Why would someone do this? We don't deserve this.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Heather Ramon on
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For your family to question your parenting in such an awful claim is shameful. You have every right to be hurt and angry for it. I am so sorry that you have to deal with that on top of trying to help your daughter through the emotions of her condition. My prayers are with you!
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Permalink Reply by Storm_Uchiha on
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I say sue 'em for all they got!
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Permalink Reply by J. Adams on
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I'm so sorry you are having to deal with such ignorance. sometimes well-meaning people cause more problems than they realize. Then again, some do realize and it's pretty sad. I hope and pray that the doctor's diagnosis will take care of it.
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Permalink Reply by Minea on
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I know this is devestating, but please try to have the strength to fight this battle well. This is beyond abusive to your family and the people reporting this - maybe behaving well in their moral code - should be well educated to understand what a huge huge mistake they have made.
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Permalink Reply by perrywinkle on
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Hang in there. Your doctor should be able to handle this in one letter. I understand your anger, and no, you don't deserve it. You and your child are going through a grieving process over the hair, and it is bound to be tense at times. Don't let these idiots add to it.
While I had AA it was incredibly itchy and I did scratch, and gently pull 'dead' hair out (in fistfuls, with no pain!). Perhaps this person genuinely mistook that irritation for pulling out the hair. If they are simply vexatious that will be sorted quickly.
I found that explaining AU as "my immune system is confused, it is really strong, and it kills my hair like it kills germs" gets through to most people.
Good luck.
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Hi, I am a teacher. I can sympathize with you, and just wanted to say that sometimes Child Services calls are made by people who have personal agendas. It may be that someone just is angry and took these steps to hurt you. I am sorry for your little girl. I have developed AA and have bouts of it on and off. I cannot imagine having it as a child. I have had one student with it. They overcame the concerns with information forthe other kids, and developing the child's personality. Who knows why some have to travel this road. At least you know she otherwise healthy. All the best.
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OMG!!!
I cant believe my eyes.
Whatever you do, don't do this alone.
Find people that can help you: lawyer, dermatologists, even the newspapers if this gets out of hand.
Let us know how things are going....
You might want to get in touch with other parents who have children with alopecia.
(You will find on this site the people in charge of children summer camp for kids with alopecia.Best of luck
Jennifer
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Permalink Reply by Chris on
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Wow...Very sad to hear what you have to go through but education is the best way to defeat ignorance. I hope that you no issues in proving to the state this condition.
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Permalink Reply by Pamela Rosse on
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Stacey & Sabree; first of all I'm sending a huge hug your way.
My goodness, where does one begin with this very sad & unfortunate circumstance due to the total lack of knowledge of a cruel auto-immune disease called AA.
I retired out medically from the Department of Public Social Services, Special Investigations Unit, RecoveryBranch,(welfare fraud division).
From time to time we touched base with CPS (child protective services).
You have my sympathy's; I empathize with your fears & worries. I agree 100% with everyone referring you to NAAF, for they have the expertise & contacts with law to assist you in this scary & unknown time.
Sadly someone out of ignorance filed a allegation of child abuse. We who are familiar with & who have this disease were & are appalled. I also look at it as, this, someone stepped forward out of concern for a child, this person felt a child was in danger of being abused. How angry would we be if someone were indeed abusing a child, shaving their head as a punishment & no one came forth to help or protect the child?
CPS is not an easy job; it is one that can be horrific.
When investigators receive an allegation of child abuse & neglect it must be looked at/into, it's the job of the CPS Investigator(s).
A good investigator(s) will have indeed looked up the disease. The reason for the letter from your physician is this, it is written documentation, from a professional, your physician stating that the loss of hair is not from an act of child abuse &/or neglect but from a autoimmune disease, alopecia areata. This written documentation will assist in the closing of the investigation/case go much faster.
Some have asked if you can find out who filed the allocation, NO, for that information is kept confidential.
This is a case of ignorance, once the facts are presented, it will & should be closed & hopefully an apology issued. Between NAAF & your physician you will have a mighty team on your side.
I read where others are saying to sue, one cannot sue CPS for doing their job, investigating an allegation of child abuse & or neglect.
Once all this horrible mess is cleared up, I would request the individual or individuals are educated.
Again my heart & prayers go out to you during this stressful & awful time.
I know one thing your beautiful daughter is observing a strong & capable woman overcome an unfair obstacle with her head held high.
Hang in there & please keep us informed of what happens.
Remember, No! you don't deserve this, this is all due a complete utter act of ignorance.
God Bless You.
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Permalink Reply by Samantha Rockwell on
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How awful for your family - like AA isn't bad enough! My child has AA too and this would be a nightmare. I know it will all work out in your favor, but it is amazing how some people can be so ignorant. So sorry for you and your family!!
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Permalink Reply by Lisamarie on
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Wow... I can't believe child services would react like that. I'm almost sure they wouldn't in NZ. And if they did they'd get a right bollocking for it.
Then again I remember when I was going on sickness benefit and my doctor had put down AA as well as anxiety and such. The lady at WINZ (I don't know the American equivalent but basically the dole place) said to me, "I can't see any missing hair" and got me to show her my patches. I was so shocked I did. This was back when I had a bit more hair and could cover my patches up a bit. It's amazing what some government services think they can get away with.
As for your family calling a child abuse hotline.... that's ridiculous. They must know you and your daughter and know that it is a health issue. Whilst child abuse and other traumatic events can set it off (it did for me when I was 9) it is not the only reason for this condition and stress doesn't even affect some people with it.
I can't believe how ignorant and cruel some people can be. That's like someone seeing a chemo patient and accusing the parents of child abuse. It makes no sense.
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