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Has anyone quit their job because of alopecia?
I am strongly considering quitting my job because I'm finding it very difficult making the transition from having hair to not having any. I work in NY City, and unfortunately with a bunch of catty women. I have diffuse alopecia areata, and up until now, have been able to get away with my alopecia. I've tried wigs...not for me, and I have not quite figured out what avenue to take...shaving, scarf, hat etc. Well, anyway I don't want to be the talk of the office, or have to explain myself over and over. I think I would just break down and cry. I just want to come to terms with my alopecia on my own time. Just wondering if anyone has quit their job because of their alopecia?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Akaslowpoke on
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I undrstand what you are saying and know how embarassed I felt at first. However your decision about your employment on your own terms. I kmow so may people say the admired how I have gone through this Ive gotten through it with prayer, tears, and taking it one day at a time.I too have done through counseling.One of my friends told me this that stuck with me..whatever
choice I make about the hair situation you may free someone elsr in the process. I determined if my hair is a deciding factor in my job, I was in the wrong field. Further, if the decision was that my employer thought my lack of hair was impacting my performance that was not the right job after all.
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Permalink Reply by Debbi Fuller on
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Hi Heather, I've read all the other responses to this and I agree with them. You should not quit your job because of AA. In these times getting a new job might be very difficult and you don't want to add not having money to your other issues. This will only make things worse. I see women everyday who are going to work even though they've lost their hair to chemotherapy. In addition to being bald, they don't feel very well, yet they are still keeping on. I love the idea of the woman who sent out a blanket email to all her co-workers explaining briefly what she had. Face it head on, be up front about it and don't be embarrassed. If you find a good wig and you are comfortable wearing one, then do that. If you'd feel better just going au natural, then you can do that too. Just don't stop living your life because of fear. FDR was right when he said that they only thing we have to fear is fear itself. Be brave and just take one day at a time.
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Permalink Reply by ZULFIQAR on
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dont quit your job heather.... i toook a vaccation as soon as i had alopecia universalisis..... almost for three months... and bout explainig to others.... prepare before in hand wat nd how u want to explain regarding your condition.... you can do a few trials in front of the mirror.... u myt be the talk of the office for a while but thn things will move on i hope...
try short wigs or scarves..... in the start u myt feel your looks is odd.... but after a while you will blend into your new looks.... try sumthing new which will suit yu.....
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Permalink Reply by Karen Smith on
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Hi, I read the comment below that you don't like your job. Quit if you don't like it but don't blame it on alopecia. Get a wig that works. My daughter lost all of her hair in 2 weeks as a high school senior. She didn't want to go into wigs, no one does, but we were not about to let her drop out of high school over this. She is finishing her senior year in college now and looking forward to what lies ahead in the working world. She has not let alopecia limit her future. She wears wigs and gets comments on her beautiful hair out in public. Her comment is you have to find a way to be happy no matter what happens to you. She inspires me. This condition is awful but it does not have to define your life.
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Permalink Reply by kastababy on
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You're serious, right? As fragile as the economy is, and as hard as jobs are to come by all over the US right now, you're willing to quit your job, that you need to pay bills and keep a roof over your head, simply because a bunch of women you work with still act like they're in high school???
There's no way in hell I would quit my job, or have ever quit my job because I don't have any hair on my head or because it's falling out - that equates to quitting your job because they said you have to wear tennis shoes every day instead of house slippers. It simply has never once crossed my mind. You explain yourself *ONE* time, to HR and your supervisor - they are the ones who matter in this situation, not those females - and that's it. As for those females, you just tell them to go straight to hell and mind their own business while they're doing it.
I think I've seen it all now...jeez.
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Permalink Reply by SouthPAW on
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Hello Heather. We also so undetstand. My alopecia started in my late 20s. I am 57 years young now:-) I am African American so through the years I wore braid extensions and weaves. I had some hair just not around the hairline and sides. Going bald wad not a comfotable option for mem I have been wearing wigs now for years. It took me awhile to find what I like and now God has blessed me to pick them
Out really well. I have helped women friends with and without hair. Yes women can be so mean and caddy.
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And to answer the question....no I have never quit my journey job.....
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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Hi, SouthPaw. I can relate to what you're saying, because I, too am African-American, and I think we both understand the "hair issues" that African-Americans have. I have worn wigs for years, too, and I positively, absolutely have learned to ignore all the catty, scathing remarks,and concentrate only on the people who support and love me.
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I'm sorry, I don't understand that - with the exception of a couple of periods where I experienced full regrowth, I've been bald my entire life, including an alopecia diagnosis at age 4 - I was forced to wear wigs by my mother because *she* was uncomfortable with my head being bared for the world to see. For a long time, I wore wigs to the job interview and then when I knew I had landed the job, I ditched the wig for my usual bald self. I was under the mistaken impression that I had to conform to what corporate America wanted, as opposed to letting my resume and my credentials speak for me. The day I finally did that was the day I finally felt like I controlled my life, *not* alopecia.
I've worked in the hotel industry and I've worked in call centers - both sectors are full of catty people that act like they're still in high school more than they act like the adults they're supposed to be. However, I know that I'm there to do a job, not win a popularity contest. As long as I show up every day on time and do what I'm being paid to do, there's nothing that anyone can say or do that can bother me, including a catty supervisor.
I think if you're going to take a break from your job, then it needs to be for a better reason than you have alopecia and you're tired of working with mean girls - people will do to you what you *allow* them to do; and if you've put up with "mean girls" for 20 years, then they've learned that they can get to you and they can make your life hell, because in 20 years' time, you haven't put a stop to it. Your issue runs deeper than the mere fact that you don't have hair - that's just the excuse you're looking for to run away and hide rather than stand up and fight.
Do what you feel you have to do; just know that if you use your alopecia as an excuse that you're setting the worst possible example for other people in similar situations, and sending the message that it's fine to tuck tail and run whenever someone is mean to them rather than stand up for yourself and nip it in the bud.
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If I were in a foxhole, I would want you in it with me kastababy....I LOVE your style!
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Permalink Reply by Carmen Dayhoff on
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You sound like you need a support group. You should check out NAAF.org for support in your area. I know I sound like an advertisement but it's truly a great place to start. You DON'T have to do this alone. U of course have our online support but also meeting with people face to face provides unspeakable relief to the stress. Just knowing someone knows how u feel.
To answer your question, No. I have never quit a job because of my Alopecia but my situation is quite different. And actually to think of it I did switch school as a kid to dodge kid stuff. A fresh start never hurts but don't put yourself in a bad situation.
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Permalink Reply by Heather on
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Im sorry, I think I could have done without the sarcastic "I think I've seen it all...jeez" In fact, my supervisor IS one of those females that still act like they're in high school. I guess, what I'm trying to ask everyone, is that isn't okay to want to take a break? I have gone to counseling and I have been to NAAF support groups. I simply feel the way I feel
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