Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by jan on October 6, 2013 at 9:49pm

sorry I did not fully explain my post re EFT (tapping). And it wont let me edit even though it says it will.
I suggested EFT, done by yourself, as a way to process the issues. Very FAST. I you google you will find samples and just put your words in the template.
good luck

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Permalink Reply by Jean88 on October 6, 2013 at 11:28pm

Hey Heather!
Thanks for reaching out on this website first of all. I hope this has been somewhat helpful for you.

It is healing for me to be on here and it is healing to read everyone's posts. There are some incredible women out there.

Here is my take on things:

It sounds like to me that you just really want (and deserve!) a break!

I have taken an unpaid leave of absence before (because I hated my boss, and I had an opportunity to do outdoor seasonal work). The thing with the leave of absence (in my opinion) is that it is hard to come back. I ended up quitting during that leave of absence because I got a third job.

I would try and get a leave of absence with pay if you can. I would also plan on what I would do on the leave of absence (as you said before you may plan a meditation retreat?)

Sounds like you want a refreshing break. I would go for it. I am 44 years old as well, and have taken lots of refreshing breaks! Life is short. If you plan well, and put your health: (emotional, spiritual, physical, mental) first, then you will have a good break. I just don't want you to be all alone on the break.

Have a good night.

Jean

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Permalink Reply by karma on October 7, 2013 at 1:43am

Hey jan...I have the same type of alopecia :)... I was a bartender in a local tavern in the mass suburbs and when my alopecia got bad enough that I couldn't wear my hair down and the toppix wasn't helping anymore I decided I needed a fresh start... I decided to go into boston (bigger city, different trends, more tolerance of individualism.. figured I could blend in easy, and not have to explain about wigs or have conversations about my condition everyday)...I was upfront with all the staff about rocking wigs and about my alopecia...I feel very comfortable with it there...I pull them off pretty well (stylish, funky) the only issue is as always with bartending you get hit on and I still feel awkward because i know without my wigs these guys wouldn't bother... but when I date I just tell guys "I'm wearing a wig and I wear different ones everyday...I have alopecia and I've grown really fond of changing my look up everyday...short hair, long hair, blond hair, blue hair pink hair, I get to be a different girl everyday" (I do goth nite at work lol)...you know what helped me transition was the site "heralopecia.com"...that chick took the bull by the horns and made me realize it is a physical change we can't control but allowing years of your youth that you'll never get back to be eaten up is the loss of the battle...that being said I stillhave my bad days and all of us prob always will...but life is short and we don't get do overs ...you do what you need to do to get through the transition and take control in whatever way YOU choose (scarves, shaved, wigs, tattoos) the more choices and control you have the less you focus on what you can't change and the happier and more confident you begin to become ;p

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Permalink Reply by Shalini on October 7, 2013 at 2:21am

Hey Rose, I feel encouraged reading ur response, I have had Alopecia for 16 years. It began when I was in school. In India due to lack of awareness in people about Alopecia I received so many stares and frowns from known and unknown people. I guess iam older now 32 to be precise :) and I have learnt to deal with inquisitive people around me.
The other day at work a colleague of mine said something that boosted my confidence, she said that she really appreciates how I don't let my hair problem effect me and I dont seem to be bothered about it so much.
Well to tell u the truth my hair problem is one of the major cause of depression in my life, I am so concerned and worried about it.
But what i realized is that when we concentrate on our work in the office and dont let things like our hair/looks/appearance effect us too much, then people around us are also least bothered. They maybe a bit inquisitive for a while but gradually with time they learn to accept us for whom we are rather than what we look like.

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Permalink Reply by katsmeow on October 7, 2013 at 9:44am

I didn't quit, because my job was seasonal, but I did become reluctant to the leave the house, and backed out of a training session I was supposed to run for new hires.

That's when I decided to do something. For the last 7 years or so, I've been wearing what the industry calls a "process" -- it's essentially bonded to my scalp, and I visit the salon once a month for upkeep. It's expensive, but so is wasting away at home. People often admire "my" hair, which does make me feel a bit odd, but is also good because I'm assured they can't tell it's mostly fake.

I'd suggest figuring out how you want to deal with your hair loss -- choose from all of your alternatives -- decide and do. Don't quit your job because of this. If you have any questions about my choice, feel free to ask.

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Permalink Reply by kitty on October 7, 2013 at 10:24am

Do not quit your job. Alopecia sucks but quitting your job is not the answer. My 16 year old son has lost his hair and while this is not what he wanted, he is continuing to do well in school and have a life. While alopecia can be tragic, it is more tragic if you let it control everything. Your co-workers will not care and you will not have to explain yourself over and over. I know it is hard as heck but will you be happy in the end if you keep working.

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Permalink Reply by Life on October 7, 2013 at 12:51pm

Hi, it has been both sad and comforting at the same time to hear so many situations that have mirrored my thoughts at one time or another. Unless you are financially able or can afford leave of absence you definitely should not quit your job. I have had situations especially when my hair loss was starting to accelerate in university and I had to get up to give presentations and always felt conscious of what the others in the class were thinking especially the girls- did they notice? Were they talking behind my back? Your journey with alopecia is only any one else's business if you choose to make it so. I know some people shared with coworkers but again that is a personal decision and one I never personally made as I felt that it was none of their business if I wore a wig or not.
I have had my share of "good" and "not so good" wigs and most days I am reasonably comfortable with my lot in life. We have been where you are, the tears and the self esteem issues. Do not let these women compromise who you are. If you are comfortable, get a good wig or two or three and rock it!
No I have never quit a job because of alopecia but certainly there are challenges I felt as a result that other women without alopecia do not have to deal with. Be strong and hang in there until you can safely and economically move into an environment that does not cause you so much mental stress.

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Permalink Reply by Ann G. Mack on October 7, 2013 at 3:56pm

Hi Heather Bloom. I would like to encourage you not to allowing your reason for quitting your to be your lack of hair growth. People, unfortunately, will always find something to dislike about you in attempting to make your life unpleasant. But the key is you learning to love yourself, like yourself, acccept yourself and live with yourself. Hair does not make the person. It is the inner you that makes you - you. Your character to include the condition of your heart. From your post, I detect you to be a very sensitive, loving and caring person. If you weren't you wouldn't care so much about what others think about you. We women, unfortunately, can be uncaring and catty by nature. Mostly those who suffer from insecurities themselves. Please do not quit your job. I am completely bald and was terminated from my job in 1996 from not having any hair. Of course they were very careful not to document that as being the reason on my termination letter. That incident taught me a lot about myself. It also contributed to my strenght and character in developing me into the person I have become today.

Today, I do not wear a wig .... only in extreme cold as an outer covering. For the most part, I wear hats and scraves. www.anngwenmack.com

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Permalink Reply by willow on October 7, 2013 at 4:37pm

I really need to say.....unique people are always the topic of discussion, it doesn't seem to matter, whether good, or bad. I put a huge tattoo on the back of my head for those chatty, to have something to talk about, other than my beautiful bald head. If you love your job,,,stay with it, if you don't, take this as a reason to quit, and do something you love. Often, our adversaries, can be our inner voice telling us, something isn't quite right. Life is too short for anything less. <3

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Permalink Reply by Cindie on October 8, 2013 at 8:11pm

I always wanted to tattoo my head, Willow, but because I have 1,000 allergies, I'm scared to. I envy you.

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Permalink Reply by Tiff on October 9, 2013 at 12:45am

I also work in an office with many women. I would not quit. I wear knit crochet hats every day and because they are so fashionable no one seems to notice. I leave a little bang out and brush my hair in such a way to give the illusion of a full head of hair under the hat. I am sure you will find something creative that will work for you and people will just assume that it is just your personal style. But dont quit and let having alopecia stop your life.

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Permalink Reply by Vivian N on October 16, 2013 at 9:47pm

I'm a case manager at a non profit organization which provides temporary housing, and I too have considered quitting my job due to alopecia. I interact with a diverse population and always get awkward stares and some times comments as to why I wear wigs. I haven't found the courage show my true self at work. Although, some of my colleagues are aware of my condition. However, I think my fear is the criticism and questions I"ll receive from clients.

With all of that said, I still do have the courage to get up every morning and wear my wig with my chin up.

I don't know when I will get the courage to reveal my true alopecian look but until then I will be strong. You should do the same. Be strong and when you feel comfortable, go for it be yourself. Don't quit your job.
Keep moving forward. Don't let alopecia take over your life. Like you said you will do it on your own time.

Have you tried lace front wigs? I've tried them and thought they look quit natural. However, I stopped using them them because it caused irritation on my scalp and had to go back to a mono wig. I've used scarves when not at work but have not had the courage to wear a scarf T the work place.

Keep me post on your progress as I will do the same.

Good luck :0)

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