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Hello.....I'm new..and new to talking about all of this...not coping
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Rose on
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It is a difficult experience to cope with Snowflake. My heart goes out to you. It has been almost ten years since my first patch of hair loss and 6 since I had to shave my head due to over 80% hair loss...and it is still difficult to cope with at times. At times. The way I see it is it makes us stronger...a true test of character. Reach out to folks here. Many times folks with hair dont quite get it and I find much support just from knowing I am not alone in this struggle.
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Permalink Reply by Snowflake on
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Hi Rose, thank you for your comments. It was and still is such a shock to deal with and understand that all my long beautiful hair went.. Yes i suppose it makes us stronger in a way, although i dont feel i am very strong in dealing with this. My nan paid for a beautiful long wig (made with real hair), but i only have worn it twice. I actually HATE wearing it.. Suppose it just shows i havent accepted it, i dont know. Although i have slight regrowth now, i still feel..i dont even know how i feel...just feel like everyone is judging me. i wear hats when im out, or my bandana, and the looks i get just makes me feel down.. I know i am not alone, i thank the few lovely people like yourselves who have made contact with me, as im not so brave to contact others yet..
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yeah, I am not too fond of wearing a wig either. I just wear one for work, but that is a matter of preference. I completely understand how uncomfortable the staring is. Most folks think I have cancer and ask me how I am feeling. my husband and I get a laugh out of that one when I tell him. so mostly folks are feeling sorry for us, not really judging us. sometimes I toy with the idea of getting a mural like tattoo on my head so they will not feel sorry for me but just think I am a freak. I guess the hard part is feeling so exposed if you go wigless and if you wear a wig feeling so unnatural. It is good to hear you have regrowth. don't give in to thoughts that you aren't worthy to grieve. I get that too, cause ...well...I don't have cancer, and that does help to put things in perspective. however, your struggle is your struggle. your grief is real. I say it makes us stronger because we have to grow a thick skin to what others think and find a sense of beauty in spite of the norm. keep talking about it. it really helps.
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yes i too have got the "feel sorry for me looks" from others, and have also been asked how is my treatment going. Its still all so confronting at times. Also recently, as i have started to get regrowth, snow white color mind you, some girls where i do exercise each week, ask, Ohh i LOVE your color, looks awesome (actually looks like the color some of the hollywood stars get!). (i wear a hat, but you can see the snow white sticking out beneath it..)... i get lost for words, i know i should just go along with it.....in time i suppose I just say, well i dont really have a choice,i lost all my hair and this is what is has come back as. And they still say ,man love the color, its awesome!!! :-) hehe
I never thought talking about it with others would really help. as i have never talked about any of my problems, im know as quite a strong person to others, but this has broken me.. but talking to some lovely people on here, it makes it that little bit easier that others "get it", get how i feel, as they are going thru it too.
:-)
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Hi Andrew,
Thank you so much for your kind comments. I am sure in time, well I hope :-) that dealing with this will get easier. At times, I feel I am not worthy though to be included in here, as yes, i did lose ALL my long long hair in a very very short period of time, but now i am getting a little regrowth... So I feel bad that i am not coping, and there are people on here, who have no regrowth at all, completely bald, are proud and dealing with it fantastic. I envy those people, they are so brave... Do i have a right to feel down, when i have regrowth, and others dont? I dunno.... Then im always thinking, why be happy and accept it all, when i dont know when it will happen all over again. You sound like you are a very strong guy, and I commend you for that. Thanks so much for taking the time to write a comment to me, you dont know how much it means. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Tovah on
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Do not feel guilty because others may have it worse than you.
Yes, there are alot of brave people on this board, but you are stronger than you think.
It's traumatic when this happens. It's not easy in any way. As I've grown older, I've realized that everyone is dealing with something. Though I've always hated when people say, "it's only hair" as they look at you with their full head of hair.
Don't let your hair situation stop you from living life. Put on a hat or whatever makes you feel ccmfortable and live your life.
So glad for you that you are getting some hair grownth!
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I have let this situation get on top of me, and just taking a day at a time. Yes i have some hair growth, and i know others dont, but its still hard to deal with... i am trying to get out of the mind frame that it could all completely drop out again, just when i am trying to get on top of it all. I will get there, yes i am strong, we are all strong dealing with this... but just takes some of us longer than others. I admire all the beautiful people on here :-)
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I haven't been on this site for a few years but it is time again. My hair has come and partially gone 3 times in the ten years since diagnosis. It doesn't get any easier. I am a grandma with other health issues, but this is the thing I find hardest to deal with. i sometimes cry like a baby even though so far my hair loss is pretty well hidden. But my spots are growing daily. I don't know how to accept this even tho I know I have no choice. Reading others stories does help. Thanks to u all.
Susan
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Hi Susan,
i agree, reading other stories and getting comments etc on this site does help. Im not one of the brave ones on this site who has fully accepted it.. but am working on it :-) Hang in there.. Snowflake :-)
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Dear Snowflake, u r not alone. I have AU and been completely bald for 5 years. I had a real hard time w comments people would make... ie: thank God ur not dying, its only hair, things could be alot worse and more. the dying one really pissed me off. Than my best friend help me see that as women we r tought to make people feel better. To leave a conversation on a positive note. By pointing out other things that could be worse, people r just trying to lift my spirits. But really all they did were belittle my feelings and loss. I no longer want to yell when insensitive comments r made. I just quickly end the conversation. Its easier and i leave not upset. Healing takes time. let ur self feel every emotion u have and don't let anyone tell u how to feel. Just breath and know ur not alone. u r stronger than u think u r :-) we all r.
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Gday Tonia!
Yes if its one thing ive learnt, i KNOW im not alone :-) And healing does take time. I myself know there are a LOT of people worse off than me, but my doctor also told me i had every right to feel how i am feeling. It was a quite traumatic time and it will take time to not get over it, but deal with it. So im just plodding along and trying everyday :-) I am normally the strongest person of any of my friends and family, but this got me. I feel i let myself down in not dealing with it correctly, but then again, i dont think there is a right way to deal with it, is there? Thanks for dropping a message.... :-)
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