Comment

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on August 28, 2012 at 10:12am

I agree I don’t think a person should settle. I also think that if you are confident in what you have to offer and look for the same it will not be settling. We just got back from a family funeral on my husband’s side. My husband never explains my alopecia to others. He introduces me as his lovely wife, period. We don’t make alopecia a deal in our relationship and neither do others who meet us as a couple. I guess what I am trying to say is that we need to be able to see the difference between settling and find a person who is mature enough to handle the situation that alopecia may bring up. I have no doubt that if someone was to make a disparaging comment about me; rj would not fold or ignore the situation but will be able to handle it. As he knows that I am also capable of dealing with situation about alopecia as well. If you are able to find a way to stand on your own 2 feet with your alopecia, the mate you find will see that and will either be able to match it or walk on. I think that ball is in our court, we need to develop ourselves. If we take the time and effort to develop our self-confidence I don’t think we could easily settle for someone who was only merely “accepting” of our alopecia.

Comment by Deejay on August 24, 2012 at 12:35am

Thanks for the replies. I'm getting used to myself being bald. My friends see pics of me bald but i havn't had the heart to walk around in public bald. Not just yet. I'm working on that. It's just the stares that bother me. Pat, I would love to have a lifelong partner, i think most of us would. I just havn't been that lucky yet. So i'm playing the single game. Thanks for the compliment Cheryl. I know that i need someone that'll accept me for me, but love is a 2 way street. I don't want to end up settling for someone because i have alopecia and they are the only one that accepts it. I just don't think it would be fair, but then again, such is life! lol. And Rose, i would give a kidney for a buzz cut right now. It's different from being just plain out BALD! Heck i'm not even looking for a lot of hair. Just something that will (as bad as this sounds) make me fit in. I'm not too crazy about being the center of attention and don't want to be known as the "bald girl". I am not my hair. But the world judges everything by the outer package. I have tattoos and piercings. I'm currently stretching my ears and going for a more androgenous look. Just making lemonade out of my lemons. :)

Comment by Keith on August 23, 2012 at 11:20am

Greetings from cold and foggy San Francisco. I have scarring alopecia that's affected probably 40%+ of my head, so I shave and wear a hat since the patches are bothersome to me. Thankfully the mild weather in San Francisco is never really hot enough to make wearing a hat uncomfortable. My alopecia slowly progresses, so I'd say there's hope that one day there'll be no patches of hair and I'll be comfortable going sans chapeau.

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on August 10, 2012 at 2:32pm

Deejay, you have a nice look. I would say, just rock your look and the right person will notice. My husband expressed it beautifully, if there is a room full of people who will accept you and a room for a people who won't. Skip the room that won't and spend your time in the room that will. I found that is what seemed to work for me. There is no use in my trying to convince someone who wants a woman with hair to want me. I can guarantee you that there are partners out there who would find your look very intriguing. I also am a black woman, who does not have the option of weaves or braids and could not do the wigs. When I finally owned my look, potential partners starting noticing or my husband believes that they were noticing all along, I was just too busy thinking they weren’t that I didn’t notice that they were. Own your look and I believe there will be people who will find it attractive.

Comment by Pat on August 10, 2012 at 2:14am

I'm sorry to hear that Deejay, that must be tough. Maybe having a long-term partner like Jeffrey helps, as it does all of us who already have a partner. I know some partner's find it difficult to deal with but I think the majority give their support or at least that's how it seems to me - I could be wrong. It would be very interesting to do a survey of this...

Comment by Deejay on August 8, 2012 at 7:41pm

i've had a particularly difficult time being a masculine identified lesbian woman because wearing wigs is OUT! lol.. i'm not a man so its a challenge to just be walking around bald. I used to wear fitted caps and durags all the time but you can only wear that to certain places. It really limited my social life. Women are very visual by nature. They like long hair with dreads. Neither of which i have. So yes, I do feel like my alopecia has me in a corner. I've been advised to just wear wigs but that's not me. Recently i shaved my head and i'm working on other parts of myself and my body. Having a great personality and a big heart just doesn't cut it around these parts it seems. :)

Comment by JeffreySF on August 8, 2012 at 11:02am

Hi Pat,
I for one dont think it's a double whammy. I think that me being gay has made a big difference in my self acceptance of my alopecia.

Comment by Pat on August 8, 2012 at 12:32am

Do you think it's a double whammy to be gay and have alopecia? My thoughts are that it would be but I'd love to hear what particular difficulties being bald and gay bring.

Comment by JeffreySF on August 7, 2012 at 11:50pm

You're Welcome liAnn, I just wish there was more activity amongst this group.

Comment by LiAnn on August 6, 2012 at 11:51pm

I can't believe that I just found this group. How fantastic. Thanks jeffreySF for setting this up. Great idea.

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• …
• 14
• Next ›
• Page