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  • Dallas, TX
  • United States

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I don't want to be alone - my story from hair to here

Started this discussion. Last reply by Leecee15 Mar 28, 2015. 2 Replies

After about 6-7 years, my alopecia got worse where I cannot wear my own hair.I am African American and I have been natural for about 10 years. I stopped relaxing due to the thinning of my hair in the…Continue

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I have had alopecia areata for about 6 years - probably longer than that because I can remember in my early adult life having a thinner crown than the rest of my head. I also can recall a particular bald spot that I used to rub all the time when I was young. It could always be hidden with hair and at that time - I had a lot of hair.

In 2010, the alopecia got worse where I cannot wear my own hair.

I am African American and I have been natural for about 10 years. I stopped relaxing due to the thinning of my hair in the crown.

I had locs from 2007-2010 which were down the middle of my back, but the alopecia in the top of my head became so bad, that I could no longer wear them. The locs in the crown were hanging on by thin strands of hair and sometimes I would pull them up or back and it would hurt. Also I would wake up some mornings and I would have one in the bed that came out over night. I cut the locs in May 2011. The hair in the back has grown back a lot - however I have had little to no growth in the crown and it has been over a year. Sometimes I feel like an old man that you see with hair on the sides and back but not in the top. I remember that my grandmother had baldness in this same way.

If I didn't have a discolored scalp - I would consider shaving it all off but I have seborrheic dermatitis which causes a lot of flaking, redness and soreness on my scalp. I can wash and put cream/ointment etc on my scalp in the front and within a few hours the scalp will start to turn white again with flakes.

I also have sjogrens syndrome which is another autoimmune disease that I have to contend with. I also get tested every six months for lupus and rheumatoid arthritis (my mother has the latter) because having one autoimmune disease makes you more likely to get another - and I have two so far.

The sjogrens causes dryness which does not help my scalp. It also contributes to most of my teeth falling out and blurred vision. I have had most of my bottom teeth pulled out or broken off - there are only 5 of my teeth left on the bottom. It is most noticeable in the very front. I have a temporary bridge on the bottom which hides the gap in the front. Aside from the cost, the dentist does not think that my gum base is strong enough to support dental implants.

So.... I have no hair in the top and no teeth.

I deal with it pretty well most of the time because I know that there are people who deal with illnesses mush worse than what I have. I would lie if I said that it did not make me sad sometimes. I do worry about finding someone to share the rest my life with. My son will be graduating high school soon and I don't want to be alone. My ex-husband didn't seem to mind but he was there during the transition from hair to no hair and teeth to no teeth. I don't know how someone new will deal with it. Even before my ex and I broke up - I was hesitant to let him see my head as it was falling out/thinning more and more. I hesitate on getting closer to someone or even responding to an advance because I fear the rejection once I tell them the truth.

I feel pretty good about myself when I get dressed to go out. I love playing with new styles and wigs. I have come to terms with the fact that I will always wear a wig. There are so many options available that I am grateful for a choice. It is when I come home and take off the makeup, jewelry, hair etc that I feel down - it is not all the time, but it is sometimes.

t feels good to be able to vent about how I feel and not act like it doesn't matter all the time because it does...
Do you have alopecia?
Alopecia areata
Are you age 18 or older?
Yes - I am 18 or older

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At 4:26pm on September 18, 2012, Tiffani Who said…

thank you so much for the request :)

At 9:52pm on July 30, 2012, lovelyjan said…

Hello VenusDiva and Welcome to AW!

At 9:27am on July 30, 2012, kastababy said…

Welcome, and thanks for the add!

At 6:56pm on July 29, 2012, T said…

Hi VenusDiva! Thanks so much for the friend request. Your story reminds me a little bit of myself. What a journey you have gone through. I totally understand what your saying when you put on the wig, the makeup, the clothes, etc., you feel pretty good. Then when it all comes off. What's left is simply just . . . you! I've had those moments of sadness as well. But I think it's pretty natural, so that's okay. It was nice chatting. TTFN - T (for Tammy) :D

At 3:43pm on July 28, 2012, Nicole said…
Hey Venusdiva! Thanks for the friend request. I love the pics of the wig u made. I am still in the beginning stages of making a lace wig. I am saving to actually attend an hands-on lace wig making class.
At 3:00pm on July 28, 2012, VenusDiva said…

Thanks - I will post a few pics on how I make the wigs. I didn't take very many. What I use is a dome cap from the beauty supply and I put it on. I glue the tracks to the wig cap. I like them because you can make the style to fit your head perfectly.

At 2:55pm on July 28, 2012, Ms. E said…

Welcome and thanks for sharing your photos.
I have the same hair pattern and I've been so uncomfortable seeing my own only one or two people have actually seen throughout all these years.

At 1:23pm on July 28, 2012, Tallgirl said…

Thanks for the friend request! I love your variety of looks in wigs...all good! How do you make a wig yourself?

At 4:18pm on July 22, 2012, LeslieAnn Butler said…

Hello and welcome!
How are you today?
Leslie Ann



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