It seems a bit crazy to be excited by one, tiny, half inch long brown hair, a hair so inconspicuous that I thought at first it must have come from our new kitten, but there it is among the white hairs. And as I stared at the top of my head, losing and then refinding that minuscule hair, I realized that the sides are undeniably filling in more. I know it is a bit far fetched at this point, but I can almost imagine getting a hair cut, a short, close to the head hair cut. And the funny thing…

I'm not sure why I was so blindsided by the question. I mean, I know it has been asked before of women who lack hair, and this was just the person to be asking it, a wide-eyed, blonde-bobbed young girl who was also waiting in line to use the bathroom at the campground. I replied a cheery, "Yes, I am," and that was that. Only it really wasn't because I am still upset by it. 

I was having a fine weekend, my sense of self confidence bolstered by my 9 year old's birthday party at a…

I've had dreams where I was delighted that my hair had grown back, dreams where I just had long hair again, dreams where I "came out" as having lost my hair, but last night's was a new variation. I dreamed that my hair was just as it is now, and that I was out doing my dream business with no cover on my head. In the dream it was all very easy, as if weird hair was no big deal. A friend in the dream did get me past a security guard by saying, "Stress is bad for her, it makes her hair fall…

In an hour it will be time to take my three year old to a new session of her kiddie music class, and even as I pretend it isn't a big deal, I am stressed about what to put on my head. We last went to these classes 4 or 5 months ago, and then I wore my wig. Indeed the music class, a gathering of mostly mommies and their toddlers, was my personal testing grounds for a wig as part of my identity. It was not, however, an ideal environment for wig wearing. Dancing around with a two year old's…

I wasn't going to post this because it is just me getting my thoughts down to help me make sense of it all, and really, there can't be anything new to it in this group. But now that it is all typed, I find I want to let it out. It is just my personal story, not meant to instruct, inspire, or shatter the earth.

Confused.

How was it that I found myself walking around the children's museum, uncomfortably hot in a knit cap? 

It probably started this morning when my husband…

This morning still held yesterday's warmth with no doubt that it would be heating up again. It's the first day that I can remember that I went from afternoon, through evening and night and into morning with my head completely bare. I was home, so only my family would have seen me. In the usual mad rush to get lunches made, shoes found and boys off to school (the girl, at two and a half often beats them getting dressed, though I did have to veto wearing her fanciest dress to preschool this…

Just another bald woman. Well, I'm not entirely bald, but the few straggly remnants and the white mohawk weren't doing me any good. I got up the resolve to shave it off. The cleaned up look is definitely better, but my initial reaction was just sadness, as if I really had been kidding myself for the past months that my hair would grow back and be OK. Going from a little hair to no hair felt like a big step even if it didn't look like a big one on my scalp.

When I first envisioned…