A turtle.

That's what I am.

Yes, I'm a human

but I'm scared.

Scared

Scared.

People who don't know me

ask "why are you so quiet?"

I wish they would shut up.

Stop asking me.

Stop wondering.

I got hundreds of demons on my every angle.

Staring

Talking

Wondering.

They are bashing

burning me with their words.

I have invisble scars all over me.

It will never go away.

But it will heal.

They burn my… Continue

So much pain
So much tears
even after 4 days
im still in shock.
Why him? Why now?
I remember his bright huge smile
Those big warm teddy hugs
That big old laugh.
I hope your looking over me
as I write this poem
As I type.
I hope your healthy now.
I hope your safe & warm now.
Wait for us , you hear?
I love you.
I love you uncle Terrall.
Rest In Peace.

Im not sorry for being weird.

Im not sorry for being shy & quiet.

Im not sorry for being werid & real & weird

Im not sorry that I hate parties.

Im not sorry that I like

to stay in on a Friday night

and hangout with my family.

Im not sorry for not answering

your "personal questions

Im not sorry for being bullied

because it makes me stronger

day by day.

Im not sorry for having Alopecia

because it makes me different…

Continue

I dont cry as much.

But I still cry.

I dont worry as much.

But I still worry.

I dont use a fake smile as much.

But I still use a fake smile.

I still get hammered though.

And its still hard waking up every morning

Knowing that someone somewhere is going to

stare,talk,laugh because they

know half of my story.

I laugh with my friends

at my new school now.

I used to be afraid to laugh

at that school.

This woon in my…

Continue

I'm doing a good job.

I'm crying in bed

Like you want me to

I'm raining on myself

Wasting water

Wasting strength

Hit me with those words again

So I can repeat the process over.

Laugh that laugh

While your at it, lend me a tissue

Talk that talk

While your at it

Look down on me

Ill be looking up at God

Wondering what I did to dereseve

something you'll never understand.

Its me and you agaiant the world.

Good vs… Continue

Turn on the light.

Turn off the light.

You have control.

Make my sky

fade into yellow

then into black.

Make my smile

invisible like the air.

You have control.

Yes, killer you

have control.

You control my feelings.

My smiles.

My laughs.

My everything.

I want to be strong.

Strong as a hammer.

Shut you out but...

One day you'll lose control

and my feelings won't be

a game anymore.

One day I…

Continue

“No, you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
No, you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life”

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a fractured heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you.

Rain rain please fall down.
I wanna release these waters
from my eyes.
but noone can see.
Rain rain please fall down.
I want someone to cry with.
I wanna dance while the cold waters
are quickly falling on my skin.
I wanna dance , like no ones watching.
I wanna scream "AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
so I can release some kind of anger.
Rain rain will you fall down?

"Is that your real hair?" one person asks, "is that a wig?" followed by another person, "why do you wear it?" followed by another person. Questions that haunt me every single day. Why are they so interested in me? I ask myself. Why cant they use their words for good? What did I ever do to them to make them make me feel so.... bad? But this isnt a fairytale where a world is filled with nice & sweet people. No no , no no. This is reality and some people in this world isnt so sweet and nice.… Continue

Beyond all the painful things in life there's something that makes you smile. Well for me there is. My family. My friends make me smile and happy too but they're are all the way back in NYC & sometimes you just need people that's here, that's actually face to face. Even though, me and my family have our ups and downs we love each other. I love spending time with them because they make me forget about all the bad stuff in life. They make me feel okay. I don't worry around them because I know… Continue

Hey guys! So I want to say thank you to everyone who read my blogs and wrote such heartfelt comments :) For anyone who didnt read my blogs feel free to check it out and tell me what you think! However, I have read some comments that said im a good writier & thats one of the things I want to be when I grow up. A writier so if you have time please feel free to check out my tumblr page filled with blogs written by me. If you think I have a gift comment if you think im wasting my time comment.… Continue

7th grade I got 10 shots in my head to see why my hair was coming out. Late September, they find out why. Alopecia areata. That's what they said I have. Alopecia areata is a hair disease that makes your hair come out & leave bald spots sometimes on your head. But that's not what I say to people when they say "why do you wear a wig?" I said "My mom put a perm in my hair when I was in 4th grade & she told me not to go swimming but I didn't listen to her & there was chlorine in the… Continue

Each day I wake up & beg my parents to let me stay home and they so no. I get dressed and head out the door. Wait at the bus stop and get on. There it is. Eyes and eyes staring at me cause im different. I enter school. This is where the nightmare begins. As I walk up stairs I try and stay out of everyone's way. Try not to make eye contact with anyone however still keep my head up high. I enter homeroom and go to the back and push my seat back so no one will see me. No matter how hard I try… Continue