Comment by Kelly on May 3, 2008 at 7:54pm

Hi Donna, Although over the years I have gone a little lighter or darker, little longer or shorter, I too stay pretty close to my usual wig color and style. Since being on AW and seeing so many women who are going wigless all together, I have been giving a lot of thought lately to my own choice to "blend in". My first response was to feel guilty. I am not "as brave" as these ladies. Or maybe, I thought, I don't have good self-esteem. I care too much what other think....blah, blah, blah. Then I stopped that negative thought process and asked God what is the truth for me? Not the truth for anyone else, but FOR ME. I realize now that I am not anyone else but myself. :o) My life's purposes are unique and so is my personality. I need not worry or feel guilty or bad about how I choose to deal with my situation. I now realize that it is simply not necessary for me to try and make these kinds of changes right now. Perhaps, it is also true for you, that you are not supposed to be changing your hair style. YOU ARE BRAVE! It is brave for us to look at ourselves in the mirror everyday, especially as bald women; it is brave for us to make the very most of our resources and our lives with a condition that society does not accept nor understand. It is brave for us to face our self-esteem challenges HEAD ON and HOLD OUR HEADS UP HIGH. You are brave Donna, and I hope that you can have a perspective shift and see how courageous and strong you really are!!

Comment by kastababy on May 3, 2008 at 10:46pm

Hi Donna!

I have one question: Why try a different style if you have one that works for you? Were you "brave" enough to try different styles BEFORE you developed alopecia? If you weren't brave enough to be different then, why step outside of your comfort zone and dare to be different now?

I see more and more ladies daily who are shaving their heads or going bald and bare and feel that they have to do it because they see those of us on this site who are totally comfortable with being this way. While I am not one to discourage anyone from showing their beautiful bare heads or change a style of any kind (having been subjected to that myself growing up), I AM one to caution you to do what makes you the most comfortable.

Since joining this site, I have noticed that my laissez-faire attitude toward being bald is the exception and not the rule. While for the most part I am totally comfortable with being bald and changing my looks with my mood, there are so many here that aren't that I almost feel like more of a freak for being happy with myself instead of "fitting in" rather than being ashamed, depressed, cowardly, or just having a general loathing for what I see in the mirror every day.

I don't see myself as being any more courageous or brave than the next person here or anywhere for that matter. I know I am a strong person because I come from a family of strong people, and in my family you have to be strong on your own to hold your own against all the other strong personalities. Even when I do have hair, I like changing my look from time to time -- whether that is with makeup, a new hair color, new hair style, anything -- but with all the changes I make I keep my changes in such a way that it is flattering to me at all times. Maybe one day you will want to try something different. Maybe you won't -- but by all means do NOT feel as if you have to do something different to prove yourself to anyone on this site. We all come to terms with alopecia -- and how we see ourselves in light of our alopecia -- in different ways. Just do you and you will be just fine!

Comment by Cindy on May 4, 2008 at 9:37am

Donna, change can be hard sometimes, but you sound like a wondeful person with alot of positive energy. Yesterday, I took Sam for a new wig at the hair club for men and women. She was very excited to get a custom wig with her old hair color and style. They were absolutely wonderful and maybe something looking into. All the consults are done in private rooms and they could not do enough for Samantha. Samantha too has bandannas with hair sewen into them and she loves them to wear when she is home or after her treatments vs a wig. We got hers from hip hats. She has alot of different things to choose from. All the best. Cindy

Comment by Orbit on May 4, 2008 at 12:46pm

I sometimes feel the same way too. I've found a comfort zone with the long red wigs that I've worn for the past few years. When ever its time to order a new one I think I'll switch it up, and then alas the familiar style and colour code rolls off my lips automatically.

A few years back I used to wear a style called "Eternity" it was a little shorter in length and had bangs (there's a pic of my with the bluescarf). I'd worn that one for so long. I figured I always had to wear bangs, and then my partner suggested a more "mature" look. He said I should try one with the bangs "grown" out. Too me it sounded like a dramatic change, in retro spec it was a very minor change. I'm glad I made the change with his gentle encouragement.

So when you're ready to switch it up, try a slight alteration and go from there. But honestly I quite like "do" you're sporting. It's a great colour, good length for you face shape and is nice cut!!!! Stick with what works until you feel the "need"! :-D

Comment by leanne dallen on May 9, 2008 at 9:31pm

go for it if you are brave enough to wear th first one u can do many more i am not brave enough to wear mine i have worn it once and i felt like everyone was staring at me i felt very silly and felt like it was to hairy guess i am not used to so much hair i wear scarfs but people stare at me then to so i dont know why i worry so much about the wig but they are really hot and ichy so if i were you go for it

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