Comment by rj, Co-founder on August 27, 2008 at 12:14am

Babe, thanks for saying such kind and encouraging things about me. I have no doubt whatsoever that there are many other rj’s out there, who are willing, able and ready to lavish as much love on other alopecian women as I lavish on you. However, many, if not most, of them will remain hidden in plain sight as long as what seems to be the majority of female alopecians insist on merely stereotyping these gentlemen as bald fetishists.

I'm also glad that I met you on another social networking site because I don't think I would have been able to bear this community’s overall negative attitude towards non-alopecic males long enough to make your acquaintance. Just goes to show that, although Alopecia World aspires to be a place “where acceptance is all there is,” it still has some collective growing to do.

I love and adore you, Babe. :-)

Comment by Lee on August 27, 2008 at 4:38am

; ) aw....maybe Ill get my boyfriend to join...it would be informative!! He hates to bring it up cause he doesnt want me to get upset. So this would be good for him...thanks for the idea ; )

Comment by rj, Co-founder on August 27, 2008 at 2:09pm

Bogie, it’s not uncommon at all for amorous relationships to commence with compliments and so-called come-on’s. So, of course, this doesn’t necessarily mean that a person who engages in such a behavior “may have a fetish.” It could mean that he just isn’t as polished and suave as some would like for him to be. It might also mean that he’s convinced that the way to grab and hold some women’s attention is to convince them that they’re beautiful to him regardless of what others may think. It’s not like such tactics never work! And how many single men aren’t attempting to woo several women at a time? Few and far between! Bottom line is, while there certainly are bald fetishists out there, and perhaps on here at times, in Alopecia World the pejorative is simply used with far too much ease and thoughtlessness. It probably would be better at this point to place a moratorium on use of the term until cooler and clearer heads prevail.

Comment by JeffreySF on August 27, 2008 at 4:59pm

I know there are men on this site (Alopecian and Non Alopecian) who have expressed an interest in romance.
I also have seen a woman who also expressed romantic interests to both men and women. I was 99% sure the woman is just a Bot.

I don't know what occured to have this disscussion going but I just want to say I enjoy my time here very much.

Thanks Cheryl, RJ and the rest of my friends in Alopecia World.

Jeff

Comment by Jennifer on August 27, 2008 at 5:03pm

Hey guys i so glad this subject has been brought up on here. LIke i said before i think it is great when non alopeican people join men or women. I just feel they need a vaild reason. Like friend, family member, fiance with alopecia. I think is amazing and great when people with out want to learn more about our condition. I think if we could just add a question to the profile like do you have alopeica or how are you connected to alopecia would not only help parents and family memebers to connect it would disscourge some of the unwanted people cause they are a group that dont want to answer questions about themsleves that want to stay un know. thats why most leave the profiles blank and have no picture but post comments and reply to disscussions. Just my thoughts. I think it is wonderful there are men out there like Rj and one day i will meet one. And i say the more the merrier on Alopecia World. If we all just watch out for each other that group will get the hint that thay are un welcome here and the turly guine will stink around.

Comment by rj, Co-founder on August 28, 2008 at 12:07am

As I've said here and elsewhere, one of the "valid reasons" a non-alopecian as well as an alopecian may join our beloved community is to meet the love their life. Indeed, had I found this social networking site, lurked for a while, and saw Cheryl's profile when she was single, I probably would have joined just to attempt to make contact with her. I also would have found it offensive and disappointing to considered one of the "unwanted people" simply because I was interested in an alopecic female and wasn't here to necessarily learn more about her condition. Finally, I would have considered it utterly absurd to be branded as a bald fetishist merely because I was more interested in the alopecian than her alopecia. And, of course, the biggest loser would have been Cheryl herself! :-)

Comment by Sarah McIntosh on September 9, 2008 at 7:04pm

Oblivious I must be!!I had no idea that this was going on I personally had a bunch of my friends who are non alopecians join because I thought this would be a great way for them to have a better understanding of a physical difference that needs more understanding and acceptance.I for one love this site and think that stopping people from joining because they don't have alopecia is wrong for it will only keep people in the dark about us longer.

Comment by Jana on November 15, 2012 at 12:33am

I just found this string because I was looking for discussions of the haircutting fetish on AW. I don't see mention of it, but instead mostly of the bald fetish. My opinion would be that we should not limit AW to only those w alopecia. Not unlike what we are seeing on Facebook, with a string of what appear to be haircutting fetishists friending alopecians - and now also a pedophile who is friending parents of children w alopecian and cancer - I think the key is awareness, and not a closed door and fear. And I would suggest the first point to awareness is properly defining what fetishism is, whether it relate to being bald or haircutting. I am pursuing this "topic" outside of Alopecia World. Anyone interested in sharing their perspective is more than welcome to PM me. Cheers.

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