Five Lessons from the Jada and Will Situation

*Please note that these points apply to adults, not children.

As I imagined it would be, the Oscar slap heard around the world was news for a few days and then it was on to the next things. But I have been mulling it over for the past few weeks and came up with five life lessons that this situation can teach all of us. 

  1. We need to dig deep to find our self-worth. I understand and know too well that we can believe we are okay with ourselves and our circumstances and then something happens that makes us realize that we still have work to do. I believe that is the situation that Jada faced. She thought she was okay but was not yet mentally prepared for the negative.
  2. We need to prepare ourselves for negative comments and naysayers. Because I guarantee you that they are coming. What I mean by that is that we can’t just be okay with ourselves while everyone is giving us praise, telling us how brave or beautiful we are. We need to be mentally and emotionally prepared for those who do not like our decisions and may, in fact, be downright rude. We need to prepare for that, too. 
  3. Before you find yourself protecting someone, make sure they want to be protected. It was Jada’s fight to fight. Indeed, I feel that these situations are ours to fight. Even in the case of Will and Jada, Will stood up for her but it may not have been wanted. I may be wrong, but I have yet to see Jada come out and defend him. 

I don’t expect nor want my husband, RJ, to jump up and fight my battles for me every time someone says something to me that may hurt my feelings. I much prefer him in the background saying, “That a girl!”

  1. We can't allow self-worth to come from the outside. We need to find our self-acceptance and self-worth on the inside. Otherwise, we will only feel confident when everything is lined up in our favor. We need to be able to feel good about ourselves and our situation no matter what others may think.
  2. Seriously challenge the things that people say to you in your own mind. Does no hair undeniably make a woman look like a man, or does a man who has long hair all of a sudden look like a woman? Or, if it is some smart-aleck saying it, does it make it a fact? 

What are your thoughts? Do you think we need a hero to save us, or do we need to be our own hero and save ourselves? 


Read more content on Self-acceptance


Views: 778

Comment by Joan on May 1, 2022 at 10:50pm

I know he was wrong but I also understand why he dud it. Loves his wife so much and does not like anyone upsetting his wife.  I am not brave enough to go out bare headed as I have no one to support me.  Will in my eyes you are wonderful.  

Comment by SabineTawni on May 2, 2022 at 10:15am

Joan, I agree with everything you said about Will.  Yes, he was wrong, but we all lose our patience sometimes, and Chris Rock was also wrong to take it upon himself to mock someone's medical condition.  I am curious though about your comment concerning "being brave enough" to go bare-headed.  Why is that "brave"?  Personally, I don't find it brave at all.  I simply think it's a personal choice.  I would never go out with a wig since I don't want uninvited questions and unsolicited advice.  I like to blend in when I am out in public, not stand out for having a medical condition.  I suppose it's my age (73), but when I was raised in the '50s and '60s, it was considered poor taste to blather on and/or flaunt your problems (medical or otherwise) to everyone and everybody.  Some things are just private.  Again, I fully support anyone who chooses to go out in public without a head covering or a wig, but I can't say that I think they are any braver than you or I.

Comment by Johnyette Sproles on May 2, 2022 at 10:37pm

I agree!  I would never want my husband hitting anyone just because of my baldness! I'm not sure why people continue to defend this conduct. Chris Rock never stated anything about Alopecia.  I definitely would haven taken his comment as a compliment. Demi Moore rock the bald head in GI Jane as a Lieutenant.  I feel that the platform should not have been shined as her having Alopecia. So what she has it.  What she feels inside (I get it)  As far as looking at her. It is though she is rocking the bald cut.   Get it together if your gonna step looking beautiful and confident! 

Comment by MARIA on May 3, 2022 at 2:23am

super your article Cheryl I approve of everything. Each person is unique and each reaction is worth seeing better what is happening in us and around us. For me it was an incident that we will not forget


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