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Comment by Cindy on May 1, 2011 at 2:44pm

HAHAHA! Most people who know me, know I wouldn't want to wear a wig and it cracks me up to envision myself in one! I'm sort of an androgenous looking lesbian already, then to think I get alopecia and turn fem with a wig! NAh, bandanas, beanies and buffs do it for me. My little students love the bunny beanie from Guatamala (check on ebay-they're cheap and beautiful).
But I had a parent (I"m an elementary teacher) who said, "What a great opportunity to wear really wacky hats!", I said that I really wasn't into drawing MORE attention to myself. He was "Oh yeah, I guess not."

Comment by Julie Koch on May 1, 2011 at 1:49pm

I get the same types of ignorant comments when I talk about my severe, burning scalp pain that accompanies my hair loss and seb derm. I have been told by SO many doctors and of course family that it is ALL IN MY HEAD. I understand that I do have some mental issues like eating disorders, anxiety, depression, OCD and PTSD but I know MY body and when people tell me that my pain is IN my head I want to scream! Sometimes people just have no idea what others are feeling and although they think they may be helping or giving us hope, they are really just telling us that we have not thought this through and something can be done to "cure" us. I simply don't talk about my scalp pain unless I have a good defense in place and stand my ground... How sad is that? We shouldn't have to defend our conditions or ourselves to ANYONE else. I'm just glad that my family finally believes me because I have 2 wonderful doctors that validate my feelings and told them this is a real condition and not IN my head... Thanks all for sharing your thoughts!

Comment by Pat on May 1, 2011 at 4:07am

Seems like this is a common problem among us and thanks all for your creative replies, from the serious to the hilarious. Made me have a quiet chortle ....

Comment by Cheryl, Co-founder on May 1, 2011 at 1:05am

I usually tell them, thank you and that I have tried many things. I have come to a place that I truly believe that my life and I are fine the way that I am, and if it was meant for me to grow back my hair it will naturally.

With the wig question, I usually tell people that it took me way too many years to get to a point of self-acceptance, there is no way I am going to start hiding again now.

Comment by Tallgirl on April 30, 2011 at 11:15am

Ohhhhhh, so THAT"S how people get a cowlick!

Comment by Norm on April 30, 2011 at 7:10am

What is it with people, hey.... they all think they can give advice on how to handle well-meaning people who try to give advice. :)
Thing is, It kinda goes with the territory. It's human nature to want to "fix" people, and if you're perceived as "needing to be fixed", they'll often jump right in without thinking. So, exhausting as it can be, sometimes we have to do the thinking for them, accept that they're doing it for the right reasons (whether that's to help you or feel good about themselves) and politely say thanks, but no thanks. I suppose it's when they won't let it go, and constantly bang on about it every time you meet, that it gets annoying.
Humour sometimes works - some years ago there was a story in the press here about a bald farmer. Apparently when he was bending down to put feed in a container, one of his cows would lick the top of his bald head, and after a while he started growing hair. So anyway, one of the girls at the place where I worked at the time, who was always asking why I didn't do this or that, picked up on this and asked me why I didn't get a cow to lick my head. So I bent down and said, "Go on, then".... it probably helped that it was done in front of 15 people. :)
Anyway, Pat, if you simply want the one-size-fits-all, "short, simple answer to stop them in their tracks" you can always just say "Eff Off"... so long as you never want to speak to them again :)

Comment by R0BB on April 30, 2011 at 6:53am

Hi Pat -

At this point - theres no easier way to say it than ......



- Peace

Comment by BTB (John) on April 30, 2011 at 3:15am

Well put Hun it annoys the hell out of me and I am just standing by listening to people giving you there ground breaking earth shattering cures for a condition that has baffled modern medicine. Science can't find a cure but these people have the cure right there in the kitchenrs cupboard, and can't wait to share it with you not matter how crackpot, ridiculous and totally ludicrous the idea of mixing cow crap, chi tea, fairy dust, cats urine, and just a little chocolate sounds to you to them it's perfectly sane and reasonable and it works. To all Alopecians on this site you guys have to put up with enough side stream hassles without "though well-meaning" still unwelcome offers of miracle cures. Well put sweety again I am left in awe of the way you can sum up the life you live as an Alopecian, I am honored to be your partner. Love you xoxoxxo

Comment by Tallgirl on April 30, 2011 at 12:48am

We could borrow a current famous guy's expression and change it to, "Duh...LOSING!"

Comment by liselle on April 29, 2011 at 10:42pm

oh Pat, I can so relate. To the point where I have even told my mom, can we NEVER discuss it again, as it already has ruined our relationship. It is like a white elephant in the room now.
Last week she suggested I try the Laser. Of course I said "no, it won't help".
well..... here was the emailed reply.
"No I won't discuss your hair with you anymore as it is pointless as you seem to have convinced yourself in your mind that you have hair loss ".
convinced myself???!!!!! oh f$#!.
It honestly took me ALL morning to calm down.

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