So sick of it!

Its been a long time since ive posted but im really feeling sick of alopecia right now. I try to forget about it but it just keeps coming back and destroying me from inside. Im nothing like i used to be when i didnt have this fucking stupid condition. I used to be so happy but now i cant even enjoy anything. Im currently in south america and everyday im depressed. Before i left most of my hair was growing back from injections then boom as soon as i stop them alopecia comes back again and fucks my once happy life up. I cant be bothered with it anymore or anything for that matter. People always ask me whats wrong or why im so quiet and i just say nothings wrong im fine. I cant even shave my head without looking like a fucking map of hair. Ive spoken to psychiatrists but nothing helps. Im so sick of this life! I can hardly live everyday life anymore without wanting to curl up in a ball and dissapear.

Views: 244

Comment by Tallgirl on September 9, 2011 at 6:43am
Gee, I just had that feeling over my 5 months of unemployment and overwhelming bills, loss of health insurance, etc. It all came to a head last week. When things get overwhelming, it is hard to even know how to have a conversation with loved ones, right? It's like, "What mood can I contribute to this conversation that other people will enjoy experiencing? Nada." So, one stays quiets and just grimaces and nods appropriately in the right places...if even that.

So, since we all know the sun rises on a new day in the morning, for our little ones and our future with them...and that we have many more adventures, insights, steaks (Sorry. On unemployment, one craves strange things...) and movies ahead...what can we do in the meantime? Laugh AT alopecia and Fate. Say, "Scr_ _ you, alopecia," and just keep earning, achieving, studying, loving, writing, playing, eating, giving, etc. We were made for way more than looking in a mirror. Shoot...Neanderthal alopecians HAD no mirrors. Maybe Vikings wore those horned helmets for a reason. Maybe you can get a trademark hat, cap or do-rag and still be Uncle You, Dad, Bro, Grandpa, Cousin Tim, or whoever else you are. Eh? Go hat shopping today...just for me. Send pix. I'm thinking of you up here...while I eat my Top Ramen.
Comment by Hope on September 11, 2011 at 3:02pm
Tim, I'm so sorry to hear about the stress you are currently going through. Just know were all here to listen to you vent or talk, something that I didn't have 17 years ago. I know you probably hear this often, but one day you finally do get to a point in your life when you can just accept it. I do think it is a lot harder when it plays games with you, either come back for good or stay away so I can start the grieving process, but learn to move on. Good luck in your battle, always here to listen.
Comment by mabaker on September 14, 2011 at 2:50am
Hang in there - one day at a time - one minute at a time - one foot in front of the other - if there is just one thing in the day that lifts you a little, then hang on to that - it means you are still there somewhere - from little acorns grow oak trees - hang on, you will come back to you and be even more beautifulx

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