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Got dumped because of my alopecia
I had another alopecia episode and my eyebrows fell out again. This has had a dramatic impact on my appearance. I was scared to tell my then girlfriend but eventually plucked up the courage to tell her. I saw her again and she tells me she no longer loves me and has no feelings for me any more. This really hurts , I would have gone to hell and back just to make her happy.
This has made me doubt myself even more than before :(
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Andrey on
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Really sorry man. Women around your age aren't capable of handling and dealing with this kind of thing. Most women aren't ok with a guy with no eyelashes/eyebrows. A bald head is barely bearable to some. Yea having this disease sucks. Like you said its all looks man. I hope that drug trial you are going to regrows your hair and you get a chick way hotte, younger, and tighter than her man. You should'nt place that kind of emphasis on a woman. She should make YOU happy not the other way around man.
Stay strong man. I know I will get a lot of shit for suggesting this on a forum like this but have you thought about serious weightlifting and using anabolic steroids? Its not any crazier than some of the suggestions other people here make EI: gluten free diet, fasting, juicing, pouring onion juice/snake oil on your bald head etc....
Also inb4 all these people call her shallow or w/e. EVERYONE IS SHALLOW. Wonder if all the people who posted in my thread about how looks don't matter and all that horse shit will even bother posting in yours. My guess is half of them will ignore this thread just because it goes against their cognitive therapy (I mean brainwashing) opps did I just say that?
The only time a woman cares about a mans looks is HER WHOLE LIFE.
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As Tallgirl has very eloquently written......I also disagree!
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2 quick passive aggressive posts. Very mature for 2 older women who are probably very selective about the men they date.
Tallgirl is especially classy as she does not allow people to freely post in her blogs. If she doesn't like what you have to say she will not let it post.
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Permalink Reply by Tallgirl on
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The definition of a Real Man is, of course, different for every woman. For some, it one who supports HER and protects HER, physically and emotionally (without her having to be the strongest one for the man). I am still sort of that way, despite my age. Therefore, I have narrowed my opinion down to ONE person in decades who has had my back and has been supportive...and is, thus, the Real Man. The hair thing does not matter. For me, it is also being able to feel like the Little Woman, in height and intellect. Some people have natural wit, academic interests, verbal ability, humor and confidence. These are, in sum, more attractive than long hair and mustache to some women. Develop your best assets, and go to places where they will be noticed on a PERSONAL level, in conversations...not in meat-market bars where only surface image matters.
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Permalink Reply by Missellewoods on
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so sorry.. but your beautiful just the way ur..always remember that
if she can't get that....do you really need that in your life ?
us alopecians need to stick together
sending love your way <3
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Permalink Reply by JEANETTE on
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I am so sorry to hear your dealing with a broken heart and hold your alopecia responsible for their choice in leaving! My dear beautiful child of god, I have a very dear friend that with med side effects as a child lost her fingers & legs! She has been broken hearted many times, but what she sees later on while recovering, which means *(Loving yourself, before you can love someone else!) that they usually come back when your at your best not at your worst! By then your over the feelings you had for that person!
When your reading blogs thru this site, I find it all! Thru the Best of times & the worst of times! Words & Stories of Encouragement, Strength,Beauty, Love, Heartbreak, Suicide, Tortured teen, etc.. Just because of your condition!? Your Life isn't over! This is another test of your inner strength that only you can heal with time and learn to see people for who they are! Not after the fact when you have invested your time and feelings with them! You make it harder for yourself and easier for them! Know This n know it now.."There is absolutely nothing wrong with you!"
Im not sure if this is ur first relationship or your last but soon you realize is confidence is key in having others attracted to you! My longtime childhood friend Leo was target of harassment as children for many reasons, Nerd, Heavy, not so good looking but a very good person always helping others in need especially the ladies!! Lol but huge heart, he is SOOOOO over confident, I just don't get it....he is always getting hit on now as an adult!
Listen life is short, and I just lost a childhood friend few days ago. She was only 37 and died of a heart attack! To be depressed and locking up yourself from the world isn't the way you make friends or find your true love or your soul mate!
Its by putting all of yourself out there bare...without the hair! Like world here I am and take me as I am. You will preventing yourself many heartaches and disappointment from friends or lovers! Starting off with a lie and expecting them to fall in love with you and stay in love after coming out with " I have Alopecia but im the same person you love" attitude will always be a gamble. Wouldn't you like to know from the start, you love me now? You will love me always! Why put yourself out there for the unknown!
First loves are always the worst to get over! I know, I was an emotional train wreck and stressed out my mom for no reason! best part is "I moved on" because there are sooo many people in the world if u open yourself to it! Do not limit urself to an area where that's is all you know and ur trapped?! fast forward 20 yrs, My first love has about 15 kids from 15 different girls, "Thank you to my supportive group of friends n family that helped me out of depression stage, I would of been 1-of 15...wow!"
My best advice, ""LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO GET BACK OUT THERE AS YOU ARE, AND YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE THAT RESPONDS BACK WITH THAT LOVE YOU DESERVE!!"" take baby steps, go according to what your limits are and you will find the unexpected things..and people in your life! Its times like these we all have to go thru with what ever we are dealing with that we find horrific or depressing in one point of our lives, that have us appreciate the next person who is there to "Catch You"...I promise! In the process however, it wont be easy, you will be facing ur fears...but with enough anger that is what allows you to push yourself more. Laughter, in a smile that was lost from a broken heart. New friends where old where only there for image..the new introduce you to some of the best adventures..Without any of these emotions..How can we call ourselves HUMAN! What doesn't break you makes you that much of a stronger person, the person you should be mad with is her, cuz she just showed her shallow side effect! Don't dwell in that...There will be many others in your life that come and go!
The secret is knowing if there here for a reason, a season or a lifetime! It was this point in time you were meant to learn from what went wrong and how to change your future outcomes...with the next love that steals your heart! Don't Limit yourself! Its a big world out there!!
God Bless....Huggs & Kisses
Jeanette De Jesus
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Permalink Reply by 2yv8sk37l2jbl on
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If she Broke up with you because you lost your hair is she really worth grieving over? I have been married, divorced and have had lots of boyfriends. The one I miss the least is the guy that broke up with me when I was 21 because I told him about my alopecia. Get a replacement.
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Permalink Reply by dreamscometrue on
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I've had quite a few loves myself since my alopecia universalis and none of them seemed to be pressed about it. In fact one guy we have 2 kids together and he's the one that helped me the most with support, buying me wigs, makeup anything I wanted. All he wanted was for me to look and feel good about myself. We co parent and are very good friends to this day. Since him I've had a few boyfriends and always dread the convo to disclose AA. Most guys never even notice. In fact they kinda liked it;) I mean in the grand scheme of things, it's only hair
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Are you sure it's the alopecia she broke up with you over? I mean if she's been through this with you before and has been with you a long time then why now? I think you should talk with her and find out what's really happening
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Permalink Reply by AlopeciaDestroyedMyLife on
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Yeah 100% sure , she hasn't seen me without eyebrows in the time I've known her .
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