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How do I not make others uncomfortable?
My boyfriend knows i have alopecia and is okay with it, he loves me a lot and doesn't get uncomfortable about touching my patchy hair. However over the past few months i have been losing my hair rapidly,and at this point i cant always cover my bald patches, especially when we go to the beach or when there are heavy winds which there always are where i live. My problem is that i don't want to embarrass him in front of his friends, he has several guy roommates who aren't very understanding of such things and i don't want to get him laughed at for dating a bald girl. Not only would i feel really bad about embarrassing him but i think it would also put a lot of strain on our relationship. Is there anything i can do to try to make this situation less awkward? i don't want to hide under a hat all the time but i don't want to hurt him.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by ShoCorona on
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hey there Miss G......
That's great that your boyfriend accepts who you are. Even better that he loves and accepts you. But stop worrying about his friends. It's not them who you are going out with!!! All I would say to you is go with the flow, the more you are uncomfortable, the more others will pick it up from you. Be strong and try and stay confident gal!!! I know it's tough but hang in there..... :)My boyfriend couldn't accept or handle the situation. After a 4yr n 2 month relationship I got dumped just before Christmas because of my bald head and lack of confidence/change in personality. My hairloss happened very suddenly and within 10 days I was bald! It still hurts but now is the time to concentrate on acceptance of my new look and moving on... If you wanna talk feel free :)
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Permalink Reply by Karen Smith on
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In highschool my daughter's boyfriend told his close friends what she was going through. They were great and all protected her. One actually tried to date her during one of their breakups. People often make fun of what they don't understand. If they are just total jerks then I wouldn't worry about them too much. Headbands, scarves, toppers may be the answer you need to make yourself feel more comfortable.
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Permalink Reply by Wynter GS on
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awww thanks you guys =) im glad i always have everyone here to turn to. Hope you all have a wonderful day!
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Permalink Reply by Figarosmom on
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I agree with what the folks above say. It's not about his friends. I mean we can't control what people think. If we strive to we will just drive ourselves crazy. The fact is people will always not like you for one reason or another, never mind hair loss. I think I once heard no matter what there will always be 7% of the population that you will never get along with. Doesn't matter what you do.
As for hats, I think someone mentioned a topper. Well let me add half-wigs or wigs just depending on what level of hair loss you have. But do it for your comfort, not for theirs. If that doesn't work for you, don't wear them. It's your choice.
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Permalink Reply by Erin on
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I suggest just being relaxed and open about it, I find getting it out there right away is usually easier, and letting everyone know you are ok with it so they don't need to feel like the need to step around you. Even you don;t outright say "I am so ok with it" if you just mention it or some sort of funny thing about it everyone will see it's no big deal.
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Permalink Reply by Sanah Jivani on
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Just remember, "People throw rocks at things that shine". You guys have something beautiful and people are going to want to tear it down. It seems like he really cares about you. Talk to him about how you're feeling and the both of you can commit to not let it change anything. Things will be okay in the end if they're meant to be. So keep your head up, and don't let others get you down! Keep a strong and happy relationship. Good luck :)
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