Alopecia World
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I confess: I like it when men like what they see!
I take silent pleasure in seeing that my alopecic and adorable wife is pleasing to the eyes of other men. However, I never lose sight of the fact that she chose to grant me very special and exclusive privileges for several reasons, not the least of which is my authentic acceptance of her alopecia seven days a week, 24 hours a day.
There is not a moment when I want her to cover her head or, more to the point, hide her alopecia areata. I have always proudly accompanied her to business meetings, church services, family gatherings and other social functions, parks, stores, restaurants, vacation destinations, and even to our respective workplaces.
Moreover, I never make an apology or some preemptive announcement regarding her patchy hair loss or baldness simply because she is my better half and not some blotch on my public image.
There is nothing -- and I mean nothing -- "abnormal" about her that I need to explain or justify. As she made crystal clear on her MySpace page when we met three years ago, her appearance is au naturel. Thus, natural is precisely the way she and I act, and it is the way we expect others to react.
Indeed, these are some of the things that distinguish my love from the mere lust of others. My burning desire for her has never been reducible to some fetish-like fascination with her. She is the phenomenal woman of my dreams not only because of what she looks like, bald or otherwise, but also because of what she is like.
I may be pleased without words when others notice her, but I'm definitely pleased beyond words that she noticed me.
rj, Co-founder
Alopecia World
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by rj, Co-founder on
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Babe, all this should be unnoticeable. Indeed, if it were something you constantly noticed, it really would be an issue -- now wouldn't it? ;-) I love you, too. <3
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Permalink Reply by Dominique Cleopatra on
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Real soulmate love is a beautiful thing, you are both very blessed to have found one another. Oh, and Cheryl looks smoking hot in that pic!
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No doubt, Dominique! Actually, that was first and only time she wore that dress. Just got in it one evening, put on her makeup, and said to me, "You coming?" LOL
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Permalink Reply by Julie Koch on
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That was absolutely beautiful rj! I hope I am as fortunate as Cheryl to find a man like you. You're wife is gorgeous and she let's her inner and outer beauty show. I can see she is a very strong, confident and caring woman and deserves the best. You have found something so rare and precious in each other and are so blessed. God bless you both!
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Julie, thank you very much for sending such strong positive vibes our way. We receive your blessing, and wish you great joy and good success in life and love. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Gill on
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You are so right for each other, I hope someday to find somebody half as good as you, and live a life with support and love from my partner. Love to you both. X
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Permalink Reply by Linda Rollins on
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I totally agree, they are really soulmates and i pray that God will bless me with someone so loving and understanding one day...
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Permalink Reply by austex on
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Iwould like to appoligise publicly to rj and especially to his beautiful wife for any [however unintentional and misguided ] hurtful emotions caused by a prievious post from me.
Let me extend that to any one else who might have been adversely affected by it .
I am truly sorry Ya'll
austex/mike
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Mike, thank you very much for the public apology. Please consider the case now closed. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Heather L on
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So very inspirational to see such an authentic and pure love! Thank you for sharing!! Gives me hope!! :)
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Thats nice that you're complemented when other men "like what they see." I have a different take. I am a 54 year old single man, never married, who has had alopecia universalis, no body hair anywhere for over 40 years. I wore a wig up until about 6 years ago. This wig really did my social life little or no good because I still feared what women would say if I approached them, asked them out, and or what they would say if I had to tell them I wore a wig. So in most cases the wig inhibited me as much or more than it helped me. But I could never cover up my bare face. In any case, because of either my failure to approach women over my life, and/or because of my condition, in many cases women just have not found me attractive. Or I have lost my chances. To this day I have never had a girl friend or relationship. And to this day I have had to continue to deal with things like depression, great lack of self eateem issues, etc. But one small thing makes me feel better, even though I dont think it makes any difference whether it would be me or any other guy. Where I live on the east side of Milwaukee and where I work out at the downtown Y, there are women up the wazzo. And I get a big kick how when I glance at a woman, sometimes 2 or more times, on the street who is with another guy, just how instantly territorial (and as I see it insecure) the guy gets. And I wonder why he would be bothered by someone who looks like me, a 54 year old guy with a bald head and bald face. So maybe men don't mind another guy looking at their woman, but fro my experiences, it doesn't seem like it to me, and that's kind of why I do it the first place, for my own ego. Mark Hansen
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Mark,
It also seems to me that the average guy acts very insecure when he notices other men complimenting or even looking at his partner. However, I've always appreciated when other men like what they see, especially when they're respectful, because it only makes me appreciate my partner all the more. ;-)
Now concerning the way you think about your looks, well, experience has taught me that, if one dresses and grooms relatively decent, then it's one's personality rather than one's physical appearance that will most likely draw or drive away a potential partner.
Of course, it also helps tremendously to accept the fact that people are entitled to their preferences and, if necessary, break one's addiction to so-called forbidden fruit.
rj
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