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I feel so ashamed
This is what happened: I'm in my first year of university and have met amazing people. However, one of my best friends of 6 years revealed me her secret and it absolutely shocked me. I never knew it would happen to her. Then I made a new friend at my university and I found out that she had a ruptured brain aneurysm when she was seven and multiple brain surgeries over the past 8 years. She's so positive and always smiles. Just this week, she had a seizure and a group of students at my school helped her. She was so thankful for that act of kindness and grateful for everything in her life.
Here, I only have hair loss (AGA) and a hearing disability with the resultant speech impediment (hence I've faced - and am still - people judging me based on that). I've been depressed over the past 6 years over these little things (hair loss and hearing disability) and yet these girls I've met have gone through so much in their lives and I haven't even heard them complain of it. In fact, I've been wanting for a human hair wig for so long but after finding out about the incident of my friend having a seizure, my desire to get a wig seems insignificant.
I feel so ashamed for complaining so much and not being grateful for everything in my life. I really don't know how to explain this feeling but I realized that I need to be grateful and that my hair loss seems insignificant compared to what others have gone through in their lives. I hope you understand what I'm trying to explain as I'm at a loss of words at the moment.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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Yes, we are allowed to have our "awful moments." I have them, too. Especially when my family blames ME for my AA.
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Permalink Reply by xoxokat on
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You have the right to feel ashamed but no one should be ashamed about having a condition that is out of their control. I have hair lose and I felt ashamed in the beginning. I think if you would like to get a wig, you should.
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It doesn't matter how others feel, it's about what is good for you and what will make you happy. Don't feel ashamed, no one asked for hair loss, just have to do what is right for you.
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Permalink Reply by Lilac on
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I want to get a human hair wig and am more than ready to get one, but I'm broke as hell. I'm a student so I have very little money to spend on the wig. I could buy a synthetic wig but I want a wig that lasts more than one year.
I recall from one time where I was talking to my best friend of 10 years about my hair loss, and do you know what she replied? Mind you, she is on the waiting list for a liver transplant for more than 3 years and this is her second time, so her problem is much bigger compared to me. But still, I was venting my frustrations out to her and she said, "it's just hair. So what? But if I lose my hair, I would freak out." and when I revealed to her that I would like to get a wig, she didn't offer any words of encouragement. She only said, "Whatever you want." I was shocked because I was always there for her during her waiting for her liver and listened to her frustrations. I was hurt.
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Permalink Reply by Stella on
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I prefer synthetics as I can buy so many more for the cost of one human hair wig and it has to be styled and kept up. You can find cute styles for less than $50 and the last two I bought one and got one free. I am just now beginning to feel more ready to change styles, colors, etc. which we can do with hair loss that people without hair loss don't have as much luxury of doing. I've decided to make it fun instead of being so set!!
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Stella, I understand. But I miss my hair so much that I want it back so that's why I prefer to buy a human hair wig that looks very similar to my curly hair. Plus I love styling like straightening, so I think the choice of human hair wig is ideal.
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Permalink Reply by Soisy on
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hey Stella! i like your confidence. i love the fact that yes we can change up our styles now not only because we want to.. but becasue we have to do it anyways. so yes this can be fun and going forward i am going to see it as just that. lets see what color should i do next. ooohh maby a nice short sassy wig :) or a long CHER wig.. ooooh the possiblilites is endless.
thank you!
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Thanks for your support!! I only came by that recently when a friend told me for the first time that way back when, when lots of people wore wigs just to wear them, she had different wigs and different colors and she changed every day. It actually takes away the work of trying to hide the fact that we're wearing a wig and puts it right out there to be fun! I've always tried so hard to hide the fact and now, I'm not going to do so! I'll always be a blonde but the styles will be changing!! I always buy synthetic so they are cheap enough I can have a wardrobe full of them!!
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I find a good synthetic style that I like, and buy multiples of them...so I can wear them "in rotation." Been doing that for 25 years, and it works for me.
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Permalink Reply by Solange De Santis on
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Your friend is being very self-centered. Perhaps one could gently say, "yes, it's just hair but it affects me deeply and I need some support, too."
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Permalink Reply by Lynda Hykin on
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Good morning Lilac,
Please don't feel ashamed! Your challenges are just as life-changing/important to you as their challenges are to them. There is no scale of disability, making one more than another, in my opinion. Its how the person is affected by their challenges. Use your friend's to inspire you! If they can show kindness and gratefulness with what they are living with, then use what you are living with to be kind and grateful. Together you can show that in spite of ANY challenges, you can live your life fully and freely and make a difference for others!
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