Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Haley Rae Kreis on September 12, 2013 at 11:58pm

Unlike what you're expericing I've never had hair that I remember having to miss, but growing up hiding under my wigs and being bullied all the way through highschool sure where horrible, but keep your head held high because god gives his toughest battles to his strongest warriors, you will overcome any and all obstacles in your way, and try to remember at the end of the day, it's just hair. It could be so much worse.

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Permalink Reply by Glenda Folkersen Stroh on September 14, 2013 at 11:23pm

I am older and have experienced all three stages of AA...Usually I am pretty tough and I own my hair loss. That being said "today" was so painful for just a short while and it probably doesn't help that I am getting sick.
So Usually I wear a scarf around my head and tied either on the side or back, they have so many fun colors and fabrics. I will wear a cute baseball cap over a scarf and get lots of compliments. When I wake up I may feel like wearing my blonde short wig, or my long eve hair (brunette) but I don't ever try to hide the fact that I have alopecia. Like you say Haley...we are strong warriors, beautiful warriors and we have nothing to hide.

Does it suck at times to see beautiful hair, pulled in a high pony, braided down a back with 10 different colors in it and enough for 3 people....Hell yes!!! But unfortunately life is pain and pain is life and yes, we could have cancer, be house bound, not have limbs (like so many that were hurt at the Boston Marathon or our Service men who fight for our freedom)...we don't. So we get to get up every morning and make a choice to put on a smile or to lay in bed and be miserable...instead lets be genuine, kind, service oriented to those who have it much, much worse than we do.
I have been off this site for awhile, but know I need my bald family to keep me strong and keep up on my ninja warrior skills :)
Thanks for the comments.
Glenda

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Permalink Reply by kristy on September 14, 2013 at 2:00am

I am a graduate student as well as a teacher at our local community college. I have seen many classmates and students of mine wear caps during class, it's usually not a problem.
I recently (6 months ago) started losing hair, RAPIDLY. I went from 1 bald spot the size of a dime to 90% of my hair gone in the matter of a little over a month. I quickly went from being able to wear a cap with a ponytail, to having to shave it all. I am not experiencing some regrowth, but its so patchy and completely noticeable, so I still keep it shaved and covered. I have found a few people on ebay that sell chemo head wraps (not to advertise but in all honesty: englishtraditions sells my favorite style) with elastic in the back and ties to stay secure. I find that cotton wraps press my ears funny and after a day or two I just cant take it anymore, so I often find myself wearing a buff. I like to tie it in the pirate style, and fluff the tail. When I wear my buff I often forget that I don't have any hair, its really comfortable. You can also wrap the buff into a beanie style if you really don't like the tail.
Whatever you chose to do, just remember if a professor does ask you to remove your hat, you can often quietly and discreetly explain its related to a medical condition, however I wouldn't expect anyone to say a word about it. I've actually had class with a few male professors who wear a cap constantly.

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Permalink Reply by Mindy on September 14, 2013 at 9:47am

First of all, I have used the word traumatic to describe my AA. I have also used gut wrenching, nauseating, disheartening among other things. I also have came to realize that nobody else and I mean no body unless they have experienced HL can even come close to understanding what we go through losing our hair. Some are more sympathetic than others but unless you have gone through it there is no way they can understand specially as a women. My neighbor who is a male is bald and he went through a ruff time when he lost his hair. It was traumatic for him.

Second of all, I went to college (granted it was over 10 yrs ago) but you could always tell the freshman vs. the others....they were all dressed up hahaha. The rest was in a I just rolled out of bed threw on a cap and made it to class style :) So no I don't believe that anyone would notice. Right now all the blingy hats are in style and even as a parent taking her children to school I see alot of mothers with their hats on taking their child to school. Also I found finding a thin scarf and wrapping it around my head and tying it in the back is very stylish too. I saw it on pinterest. There are alot of fashionalbe stlyes to wear in your hair that are adorable.

I hope you can find people in your life that are supportive of your hairloss. We are all here for you!! It is hard but you can find yourself in your hairloss. The pictures on here are my biggest support and motivation to being ok with one day being bald. Everyone looks gorgeous in their pictures. I hope I look like that when I have to shave my head!!!!

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Permalink Reply by Glenda Folkersen Stroh on September 14, 2013 at 11:26pm

Own it Emmily-I am proud of you for not pretending, at some NAAf conferences I have been to I have heard stories of women who live alone and still sleep in their wigs....this would be so hard!!!
Glenda

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Permalink Reply by fijifrangipani on September 17, 2013 at 6:34pm

Traumatic is an understatement of how devestating it was, my hair was down past my waist, I was 14 when it started. How to kill a teenaged girls confidence in one cruel blow. University was even more of an issue as it was really bad by then, so I wore hats, wigs, all sorts. Admittedly this was NZ but never once was i asked to remove my hat in class. One lecturer did comment on my constantly changing looks, not in a bad way, he just didnt know what I would turn up with next. Despite every treatment I used the alopecia came and went and finally now I have AU, my 10 year old has never seen me with hair, not even a wig. I got to the point where I did away with everything, shaved my head, refused to try anymore treatments and got on with my life. The result is I am confident, happy, and no longer think about being bald except for when I visit this page.

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Permalink Reply by Lilac on September 17, 2013 at 9:42pm

Thanks so much for your replies! I find the hair loss traumatic especially when my hair was really my important feature of my physique. Even people on the street would stop me and compliment on my hair. This is funny (life is so weird). I got back from school and headed for a local shopping mall in search for a hair loss concealer because I've literally witnessed a rapid loss in my hair over just two days. I still have hair on my scalp but the body of my hair is less than the diameter of a pencil when you collect all the strands together in your fist. It was a HUGE shock, especially at this time when I started university a couple of weeks ago. Anyways, it turns out that the shopping mall does not carry the hair loss concealer I want at all and I may have to resort to Amazon to purchase it (toppik). However, for the time being, I've decided to purchase beanies/winter hats so I don't have to deal with hiding my scalp with my fragile hair. So I went around to look for the hats but because I am novel to this fashion, I had no idea whether or not they suited me or not and I was alone. So I texted my friend, venting all my frustrations to her. She promised to come with me to help me find winter hats/beanies because she is experienced in this aspect of fashion. But she reminded me that life is precious and short and I must not let this condition control my life. I definitely agreed with her, although I still find it hard to cope with.

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Permalink Reply by fijifrangipani on September 19, 2013 at 3:49pm

try on lots of hats, and you will get an idea of what you like.. have fun with it. It takes time to become comfortable, so you friends advice is spot on, but it will take time. It is so the hardest thing to deal with. I am sure you will look gorgeous in your new gears. Big hugs..

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Permalink Reply by Ellyn on September 18, 2013 at 5:44am

Honey - you wear as many baseball caps as you want - and beanies - and if anyone has an issue with that then you tell them you have some scarring on your head and ask if they really want to see that all the way through class? Or you could just try staring at them for a moment or two then turn and walk away. This is your issue and your pain not theirs and you're entitled to feel that way. Of course we all have pain with hair loss - it is truly a most devastating thing to have. I don't feel sorry for myself but I do know that because of my hair loss and virtually no support what so ever I have allowed it to inhibit my growth in life - You take what you can and don't allow what other people think of you wearing hats or wigs or anything else be a problem to you. You're great - so brave and you just keep on going on. Sometimes I think I wish I'd been a bulldozer and just bulldozed my way through life with anyone getting in my way just being bulldozed out of the way. So arms out and off you go!

'

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Permalink Reply by Pat on September 18, 2013 at 5:53am

It was a very traumatic situation for me too. I hated it when people around me pretended not to notice, or when they did, minimize it as if it was nothing. That's what made it so difficult to deal with I think as I felt guilty for feeling so emotionally traumatized! I think people try to make it feel better for us by pretending but I'd have much rathered they be upfront rather than walking around the elephant in the room. I have no answer to the class situation, but I wore hats to work then graduated to a wig when I lost the lot. Without fellow alopecians I would've been lost.

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Permalink Reply by Lauren on September 18, 2013 at 6:12am

I know how you feel! Especially being a girl, people don't know how hard it is. Jut waking up and trying to cover it up is a struggle everyday and worrying about it all day long just adds one more thing to stress over! Although I try nt to complain since alopecia isn't life threatening, it is life changing and for a young girl it IS a traumatic experience. Unfortunately, people don't understand and judge us, I had people ask me why I did this to myself or why I have "pulled my hair out". You don't realize how emotional it is until you actually go through it and it makes me so angry to hear about people pulling their hair out on purpose, shaving their heads, or not even taking care of their hair. If I ever have hair again I am going to take such good care of it and never take it for granted. I think people need to realize that everything, even ring able to grow your own hair is a blessing.
For the university, I suggest getting a wig or extensions. It will make your hair look thicker and will be easier to cover up spots. Try getting clip on bangs to cover your hairline, then it just looks like normal hair and you won't have to worry about it!

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Permalink Reply by Tiff on September 18, 2013 at 6:58am

I have felt what you feel and i wear hats every day of my life. I have been going through this for years and still cry about it once a month. Just realize that people arent as perceptive as you think. Find some beautiful hats and headcoverings. I wear mostly knitted berets. If you go some place where they may ask you to remove your hat (dmv) wear a wig or headscarf like muslim women wear (they wont ask you to take it off). If you go swimming, wear a pretty swimming cap. Just remember that you are not alone.

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