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Has alopecia changed you in a way? Your personality? Your character?
Hello everyone, as usual, I am momentarily depressed about my hair so I would like to ask you some questions. Since the onset of your alopecia, do you find a change within your character that has made you the way you are right now? For example, some of you have become quieter. Some of you have learned to be humble. Some of you have learned to be confident. Some of you have acquired the "I-don't-care" attitude. Some of you have become outgoing and bubbly.
I've definitely become a humble person. I don't know how to explain but after going through a lot in the past years, I have learned to accept the pain I'm carrying within myself. For example, some people can be rude and show off whatever they have - their luxurious clothes, fancy car, designer clothes, beautiful hair and skin, et cetera. But I've learned to be kind to people because you never know what they are going through at the moment.
In what ways has alopecia changed you? If there's any change at all?
Thank you.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Ariel Hawley-Fry on
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Dice losing my hair I've become more confident. I don't let what other people think about me bother me at all. In the beginning, I was sad but I quickly realized that was no way to live.
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Permalink Reply by Steph on
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Confidence!!!!.......I am amazed as I look back over the past 2+ years since I developed alopecia universialis at how much more confident I am. I have found that what I thoughts was important for looks, or beauty or outward appearances is so much more of what I portray than what I look like.
Thankful!!!......I have developed a sincere amount of gratitude. I do have alopecia and at times it is challenging, but I am not sick, no I do not have cancer. I am strong healthy and confident, and for that I am eternally grateful. I glow with excitement when someone looks at me and say "are you okay, are your doing treatment?"......"Nope I am great I don't have cancer. I just don't have any hair :-)"
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Permalink Reply by mary on
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Hello Mariam,
I have had alopecia since 7 yrs old. I'm now 54. I think I have become compassionate as a result. I honestly wonder if I would have been completely different. I would hope not. A bit more confidence would be nice, but all in all, I guess I have to admit, I wouldn't change who I am. WOW! This is the 1st time I've put this into words. Thank you! Mary
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Hi,
Sorry to hear you are currently going through the "depressed moment" alopecia brings. I feel that alopecia areata has made me more open, understanding and accepting of others. I have learnt throughout my life that it is the inside more then the outside that matters. I am also learning to be Thankful because at least I have a decent amount of hair left. Though I want to let you know, I also have my down moments. I am starting to recognize the courage I have inside. Every morning when I look in my mirror to put in the x-fusion which I use to fill in my spots I have to struggle to keep my head up and not get depressed. Every morning when I wash out the X-fusion in the shower I have to try not to cry when it all goes down the drain and I see the real semi bald me when I get out of the shower.
Keep your head up
Be strong
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Permalink Reply by Dorothy on
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I have had AU for over 40 years now and I have changed in so many ways, before while I might not have been the most confident self assured person in the world, now there is NO self confidence. I did not enjoy having my picture taken, but endured. Now NO pictures have been taken since I started wearing wigs 40 years ago and they never will. I simply DO NOT allow it. I am as a general rule not up for meeting new people and when I do, I do not engage, I put up a brick wall, sort of reject them before they have a chance to reject me. I do not wear make-up, why draw attention to the brows and lashes that I do not have? I used to dress very stylish, matching shoes purse to outfit, now one purse no matter what the outfit and the outfit, well as long as it is clean and looks nice, I do not care to look stylish because then someone might actually look at ME. That is the last thing I want, someone to actually notice I exist. I would look nice for my husband when he was alive, but now that he is gone, I have not even bought new clothes since his death 2 1/2 years ago, no reason now. So the short answer is I have changed big time. Don't get me wrong, I am not sloppy about my appearance, but polished, no.
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You can be that person. Just do it. It is like jumping into a pool that you know is freezing cold, but you do it anyway. Look ay this way, anyone who says something negative: do they pay your bills, define you, feed you? Heck no. Until they do their opinion do not count for jack.
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Permalink Reply by Kojak on
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Aw Jill you sound like such a loving, protective Mom!! But what struck me from your post is that right now it is you calling yourself those names! I only say this to gently draw your attention to it- maybe you could change the messages you send yourself? We all need some refuge from the negative messages we pick up externally- it's extra tough if you have them playing internally too :-) xxx
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Dorothy,
40 years is a long time too hide. What can anyone say to you that you haven't worried about yourself. Times have changed. Start looking around you and see the women who have very short hair styles or are shaving all the way. Today, take a chance and go to the mall without a wig or scarf. Go somewhere you normally do not go if you want. Commit to this for a week and you will find the fear is mostly you. I was very scared and reveled myself for the first time in Vegas. No one paid attention. God bless you and release your fear.
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Permalink Reply by Sharon on
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I lost my hair when I was in my twenties and I was married with children. I am now 60. I have had it come back once for few years and have lost it again. Overall I find it expensive and inconvenient. I don't believe it has changed my personality at all, I have always been fairly confident and am not terribly concerned about what people think of me. I have not experienced any cruelty or persecution because of it, so I really can't speak to overcoming anything. I am a spiritual person and I don't believe God gives us trials we aren't already equipped to manage. I have always been exceedingly grateful that my "cross" has been easier to bare than many I could have been given. God has graciously allowed me good health, healthy, happy children, a great husband and wonderful family and friends. Compared to all the bad things people endure, losing my hair seems easy.
My hair does not define me. I am grateful that God allowed me to only lose my hair as an adult. I come from a very poor background and I am not sure my family would have been able to handle it. I am grateful for a supportive husband who has always been ready to help me find whatever I needed to address the problem.
I try not to let my lack of hair to limit my activities and try to find ways do what I want and not let my situation keep me from experiencing life. I also try not to worry about what others think or say. I truly believe that if people are shallow enough to be bothered by my hair, or make fun of it I really don't need them in my life.
Success in life is about playing the hand you were dealt with grace and dignity and in the grand scheme of things having no hair is not the worst hand in the world.
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Hi, sorry to hear you are feeling a bit down.
I have to say I feel just as compassionate towards other people as I always did but I think I actually accept myself more now than ever before. I guess I feel more in control of my hairloss.
My hair has been getting increasingly thinner over the past 10+ yrs and I knew what to expect since my mother is nearly bald and had thinning hair all my life. One day I decided I was tired of focusing on the hair I didn't have and decided to accept the fact that my hair was gone and wasn't coming back so I took out the scissors and chopped it off. I cried that night and off and on the next day. When my husband came home from work I asked him to buzz down what was left. I cried again and he assured me he was never in love with hair, just me.
Since then I've had my brows applied with permanent makeup and started wearing wigs. Now when I look in the mirror I see myself for who I am and not what I thought I should measure up to. I get to have whatever hair I want when I go out and I just blend into the crowd. I don't mind so much if people know I'm nearly bald I just don't want people to feel sorry for me because bottom line is, IT'S JUST HAIR!
Yes it is hard to adjust at first but there are people who have lost limbs, sight, their lives and this in no way compares to their or their loved ones loss.
So here's a little tough love that I give myself when I start to let my circumstances take control of my emotions, you can have compassion for the struggles I go through, but do not feel sorry for me because I have a life to live, family and friends who love me and so much to offer which is more than what many have.
Never focus on what you don't have be too busy counting your blessings or you could wake up and realize your life has passed you by.
Blessings and best wishes :)
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