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I feel so ashamed
This is what happened: I'm in my first year of university and have met amazing people. However, one of my best friends of 6 years revealed me her secret and it absolutely shocked me. I never knew it would happen to her. Then I made a new friend at my university and I found out that she had a ruptured brain aneurysm when she was seven and multiple brain surgeries over the past 8 years. She's so positive and always smiles. Just this week, she had a seizure and a group of students at my school helped her. She was so thankful for that act of kindness and grateful for everything in her life.
Here, I only have hair loss (AGA) and a hearing disability with the resultant speech impediment (hence I've faced - and am still - people judging me based on that). I've been depressed over the past 6 years over these little things (hair loss and hearing disability) and yet these girls I've met have gone through so much in their lives and I haven't even heard them complain of it. In fact, I've been wanting for a human hair wig for so long but after finding out about the incident of my friend having a seizure, my desire to get a wig seems insignificant.
I feel so ashamed for complaining so much and not being grateful for everything in my life. I really don't know how to explain this feeling but I realized that I need to be grateful and that my hair loss seems insignificant compared to what others have gone through in their lives. I hope you understand what I'm trying to explain as I'm at a loss of words at the moment.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by MJ Wrick on
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That would be me too- Androgenetic. I can totally relate, and yes, it's really traumatic. I struggle horribly when it gets to the point I've got more Toppik on my head than hair, trying to tell myself the lighting is funky, but I know the hair's just not there. I have a sense of humor around it, but cry plenty, please know that. I wish there was one thing I could say or do to make this easier for you. Just know, it's okay to be upset and okay to have difficulty accepting it.
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Permalink Reply by Lilac on
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I can 100% understand your feelings. It's really hard but sometimes it changes us to be a better person. I don't know how but I have a strong feeling that it will.
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Permalink Reply by Moni on
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Amen. Don't be ashamed of anything. There are some mean people and there are also rude people, but don't believe or think all people are like that Some people are very curious and others more curious, but that's nature. Keep striving for your goals in life and it will all come together.
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Permalink Reply by Tiff on
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I wouldn't feel ashamed. Knowing that people have it worse does not always mean that we won't feel the emotions that come with being different but it does help us to put things in perspective. Hair loss can be traumatic emotionally and other conditions can be traumatic physically but when we feel down it often helps to realize how blessed we are that it's just loss of hair that we have to live with.
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Permalink Reply by Bev on
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Exactly!!! This is what we all need to keep in mind when dealing this "loss" that we suffer from! I love to try new wig styles and new hair colors so that's where I direct my attention when thinking about my hair loss. We are blessed to be in good health (speaking for myself) and at the end of the day that's all that really matters. Anything else is really insignificant.
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Permalink Reply by Solange De Santis on
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Guys, what's AGA?
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AGA is Androgenetic alopecia, it thins out pretty much all over (diffuse thinning).
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Thanks, MJ. I pretty much went straight to universalis 16 years ago and have remained there.
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Androgenetic alopecia is based on genetics and there's not much we can do to treat this problem however Rogaine seems to be the best option. I've tried it and it didn't work too well for me.
This is what my hair looks like (note: this is NOT me in the picture):
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Just because someone has had it worse than you doesn't make your problems go away. Her problems effect her health. Your problems effec how you are treated and perceived. You can't compare things like that. It's like comparing social anxiety to cancer.
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Permalink Reply by Cindie on
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Don't feel ashamed....we all have our personal struggles, and everyone reacts to them in different ways. There is no "cookie cutter" approach or "shoulds" in how one should react.
I've seen people with severe problems that make my alopecia areata look mild in comparison -- and they have warm, charming personalities, and never complain. Conversely, I've seen people not get their way because a favorite item in a store was sold out, and you would think their whole family had been senselessly slaughtered by marauders judging by the way they carried on.
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